Monday, February 27, 2012

Separate Vacations

(Just ignore the fact that the picture is actually a politician and his two daughters. Because 1. I'm slightly creeped out now that I know those are his daughters, and 2. If it wasn't a politician and his daughters, the picture would have been funny.)

So, I mentioned on Facebook that my husband and kids would be in Wyoming for a week next month in case any of our friends in the area wanted to get together with him.

Clearly this was cause for alarm.

In the few days since I posted it, I've had several concerned e-mails asking if my marriage is O.K. Actually, they haven't come out and asked that specifically, but they've all said some variation of, "So, you're not going with Will and the kids next month? Is everything O.K.?"

Yes. Everything is O.K.

Remember THIS? And THIS?

I'll be doing it again next month. It's become my favorite week each year. I need it. I need to be with friends and not be with my family. I come home happier.

The kids are out of school that week, and Will took the week off to be home with them while I'm gone. It turned out to be a good opportunity for Will and the kids to visit his family. I'm not thrilled with how much his little trip going to cost us. It's been a big source of contention this week because there were cheaper alternatives that were refused. (There's a whole post about that that will have to remain unwritten for the sake of keeping the peace.) But to clarify for all those who were concerned enough to write: Our separate vacations might just end up causing marital problems, but we're not taking separate vacations because of marital problems.

We're taking separate vacations because I don't love my family enough to vacation with them.

I hope that sets the record straight.

Ever since this whole separate vacation thing has been decided, though, I've been having mini panic attacks. What if their plane crashes? What if they die in a fiery car crash in the still-icy canyons? What if there's a carbon monoxide leak at the in-laws and they all die in their sleep? I could go all day with these scenarios. The result of them all is the same--I will be left all alone. It makes me want to cancel both vacations and hide under the covers.

I'm a worrier by nature, but this is a little ridiculous even for me.

Oddly, I'm not as worried about me dying while on vacation. I mean, there could be a freak pole dancing accident or a tsunami that wipes out the Outer Banks, or, in true horror story fashion, someone could break into the house full of "helpless" women and hack us all to death while we're having a pillow fight in skimpy pajamas sleeping.

But really the worst that would happen if I died is that the kids end up being the kids with dirty faces and ratty hair at school. Until, of course, he gets re-married (obviously to someone prettier who thinks it's totally fine to spend 18 hours a day on the computer). No big deal.

So, I think the moral of the story here is that if my worst fears come true and an asteroid falls to Earth destroying only the most Southwest corner of Wyoming, I will deserve to spend my life alone because I vacationed without my family. Feel free to tell me you told me so.

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