Monday, March 26, 2012

There were unicorns and mermaids there, too.

This was the view from our deck after a rainstorm yesterday. You can't see them, but there were also dolphins playing out there. (No, really.)

And it happened after an afternoon of swimming, hot tubbing, and beach walking.

Vacationing is so hard.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

A Tale of Two Sisters

I'm in North Carolina. More on that tomorrow. But anyway, I'm rooming with my sister. She pointed out that our "condiments" (known as toiletries to normal people) pretty much summed up all our differences.

See if you can guess whose is whose.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Out of office reply.

Sorry, I can't come to the blog right now. I'm...busy.

So, I finally have things to write about (Transgendered Korean Country singer! Beach vacation! Wayward pancreas and insulin pumps!) but I have no time to write about them.

Tomorrow I leave for a week at the beach with some of my favorite people, and I've been so busy pre-emptively micromanaging every aspect of life that I won't be in control of when I'm gone that I haven't had time to write.

Maye I'll have to do some ocean front blogging. Maybe I can convince everyone to participate in a video blog poolside.

Either way, I'll be back with a full report of all the Bad Girl goings-on.

(And if you'd like a post card, e-mail me your address.)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Talking Dirty

Things That Sound Dirty (to me) But Aren't
(Yes, I'm 12)

Melon baller

Weather stripping

Harris Teeter

Beef jerky


Weed whacker

Harry Potter

Snow blower


Venus flytrap

Goat cheese

Jack Johnson

Pole vaulter

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Something is better than nothing.

Remember how I used to write stuff? Me too.

Lately I feel like I'm simply out of words. Like I've talked about All The Things and there's nothing left to say.

I know that's not true. I know it's just a combination of several things creating a perfect storm of writer's block. I know it'll pass and I'll be back, full of self righteous indignation as usual. In the mean time, here's a little something from the archives in honor of the Girl Scout's 100th anniversary yesterday.

WTF, Girl Scouts?

(Originally posted February 21, 2011)

So, tonight Ben used some of his allowance to buy some Girl Scout cookies. Samoas, to be exact.

I was totally stealing some looking at the box, and the picture kind of disturbed me.

Does this remind you of anything?

Like, saaaaaay...this:

Birmingham, AL Fire Department hosing civil rights activists

WTF, Girl Scouts? I know you originated in the deep South and all, but really? You thought the best picture for your box would be a white lady terrorizing little black kids with a fire hose?

Friday, March 2, 2012

Tiny Lightning Rods

Today, in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday, the elementary school kids were supposed to dress up as their favorite Dr. Seuss character.

Neither of mine were interested. Liam flat out refused, but I finally convinced Amelia that she'd make a convincing Cindy Lou Who.

A couple of pipe cleaners and elastics later, she headed off to school.

(This is how she insists on smiling for pictures lately.)

And about an hour after she left, I realized I'd sent her off with two metal wires protruding from the top of her head on a day when we're supposed to be battered by super-cell thunderstorms.

I put tiny little lightning rods on her head. And sent her off into a thunderstorm.

Worst mother ever.