Monday, March 30, 2009

When lavender isn't so calming...

I cannot believe she did it again. Again!!!
After the last incident I hid the powder up high, waaay in the back of her closet. Behind things. Apparently it wasn't enough to deter her.

And it wasn't enough to just dump powder everywhere. Noooo...first she had to take out every toy she owns. You can't tell from the picture, but there was a layer of talc on absolutely everything in that room.

On the upside, the entire house, the vacuum and the outside garbage can all smell lovely and lavender-y.

When you've only got a hundred years to live.

Fifteen there's still time for you...

Twenty-two I feel her too...

Thirty-three you're on your way...

Every day's a new day.

1. If you've never heard that song, it's the last one on my playlist over there --->

2. I'm totally inventing my very own tag! I tag all of you! Post a picture of yourself at 15, 22 and 33. If you're not 33 yet, then use your most recent picture. If you're not 22 yet you're too young to be reading this blog. If you're older than 33, here are the rest of the ages listed in the song: 45, 67 and 99. Go ahead and post pics for as many ages as applicable (And post the appropriate lyrics. It makes it more funnerer).

3. Tag! You're it!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Flotsam and jetsam.

Note to self: they don't dig my poetry...

So, I don't really have enough for a full-on family update, but here are a few tidbits:

Liam and Amelia: There was much vomiting and washing of blankets in the land this week. The Tylenol flowed freely.

Ben: Practiced his clarinet without being told. Trust me, this is huge.

Will: Submitted his packet to apply for Warrant Officer. We'll know in June. Cross your fingers and toes.

Me: Gained 5 pounds (which is why there's no picture this week). I'm not freaking out--every 4 weeks on the dot I gain 5 pounds. It'll be gone by Friday, but it's still annoying. 90 pounds ago, 5 pounds was nothing. Now I feel it and see it.

In other news, I ate the first strawberry from my garden Friday. It was divine. Also, everything is growing. The corn, cucumbers and scallions--all which I started from seeds-- are now a few inches tall. The tomatoes have buds just waiting to blossom and the bell pepper plant has little pod-like things, which I assume will eventually become the peppers. The cilantro is thriving so well that I'm having to cut it at least every other day. Good thing I love cilantro in nearly everything. And I eat freshly picked basil with sliced tomato and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar almost everyday. Jealous much?

Before I go, I want to leave you with a question that came up at church today. The Bishop (the congregation leader--like a pastor) asked us how we can teach our children that gambling is bad when it pays their teacher's salary, their classroom materials, and in Georgia's case for pre-K, even provides the student's breakfast, lunch, snack and before and after school care.

I had a minor heart attack because I thought he was then going to counsel us all to homeschool. I'd probably have to become Catholic or something if that was the case. I'm not the homeschooling kind. He didn't suggest it. He didn't really suggest an answer at all (because that wasn't the actual topic of the lesson). But it's had me thinking all afternoon. How do you reconcile gambling=bad, education=good when you live in a state with lottery funded education?

P.S. The Blog Frog thingy on the right? All proceeds (from mine) now go to the American Cancer Society. You don't even have to click on ads. Just add a link to this blog on your own blog, and sign up for a free Blog Frog membership. That's it--you've done your good deed for the day.

P.P.S. Anyone out there know how to make a button for me for you guys to add to your blogs? And would be willing to do it for nothing but my undying adoration and gratitude?

Saturday, March 28, 2009


The rain paused.

A blanket of mist hovers, softening the pink sunlight.

The boughs overhead heavy laden, dripping with blossoms and buds and fat raindrops.

The Wisteria nods to the Magnolias while the Pansies and Violets tinkle laughs from below.

The air thick with humidity and the sweet perfume of Spring.

And I listen to the choir of birds and squirrels and the breeze through the leaves.

Top photo: My backyard this morning at sunrise
Bottom photo: The Wisteria in my backyard this morning, digitally altered to a watercolor--it's prettier if you click on it

Friday, March 27, 2009

"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."

Can't you just see the plans for world domination forming?

*5000 points if you can tell me where the title quote comes from. Without Googling it.

The Twilight Stomach Virus Strikes Again.

This time it got Amelia.

Just look:

See? It totally turned her into Bella.

Also, if you ever want to guarantee that your child will vomit red Gatorade, simply put them in a brand new car seat. You know, the one you bought because the old one had been vomited on just a few too many times.

P.S. I've had some questions about the "minion thing" on the right. That, my friends, is The Blog Frog. You can click on it and register for a free account. Then, if you have a link to this blog on your own blog, it'll automatically post a link to your blog here when you visit. Also, it helps generate revenue for various charitable causes. No, not my boob job.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Thursday Morning Confessions: Afternoon Edition

I just realized it's no longer Thursday morning, but I haven't showered yet so it's still morning to me.

So, yesterday was fun, no?

I totally know who irks whom now--an unexpected bonus.

Anyway, since I'm in the confessing mood...

1. I think the Bee Gees are pretty much the greatest musicians ever.

2. Corn mixed with other food gives me the heebee jeebees. I may have already confessed this previously, but it's worth mentioning again.

3. I have had to ban myself from Target.

4. I would spend every last penny we have on new clothes right now if I allowed myself. See #3.

5. Some days I wonder if the Duggars are right, and I contemplate letting Ben take over the child rearing.

6. I think I may be driving on a suspended license, but I'm not sure. Long story, but the moral is: Honesty is never the best policy when dealing with the DMV.

7. Gigantic sasquatch feet do not shrink, no matter how much weight one loses.

8. I'm seriously considering taking a belly dancing class. No, really!

9. I changed my workout schedule in the hopes of meeting new characters for this blog. And I think I found one today. She needs more observation, but watch for a post about The Angry Chicken coming soon.

10. This post from a blog I came upon recently makes me dry heave:

Dear 20 pounds of baby weight,
You fell right off of me after B****** was born. I can see now that this will NOT be the case this go around. But once we have about 10 degrees of warmer weather, I will remedy that. Until then, knowing that my baby is exclusively breast-fed, likes to eat a lot, thus necessitating a higher caloric intake than I care to admit, will keep the fact that I'm a small heifer from making me want to cry.
It (the said 20-lbs) also keeps me from wanting to shop, post pictures of myself, and generally see anyone who might say, "Whoa, she's really let herself go." Oh well. At least I can still fit into a size 1 jean. Barely.


*For real, people, how long were you going to let me embarrass myself with the use of Addition rather than Edition
in the title?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

You're so vain, I bet you think this post is about you.

So, I used to have an arch nemesis.

And it's one of you.

(No, it's not Sylwia. Sorry.)

Anyway, she probably doesn't even know (or care) that she was my enemy number one for a few years.

I'd always found her slightly annoying, and then she said something to me that really got my panties in a bunch. I don't think it was meant to be deliberately hurtful, but it was, and I chose to be offended.

And stay offended.

I'm really good at that. I'm pretty hard to offend, but once I am, I stay that way for a good, long time.

I rejoiced in her trials. I would get a little thrill when I succeeded at something she had failed at. I even engaged in some borderline gossip with a couple of you (you know who you are) about her.

Then I started reading her blog. And I realized I really liked her. A lot. And I wish we had been friends.

I'm not really sure why I'm sharing this--I know I'm just going to be inundated with "Was it me?" e-mails and comments. (For the record, this is the answer you'll get: "No, of course it wasn't you!")

I guess the moral of the story is, never judge a book by its cover.
Judge it by its blog.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I hate it, so let's talk about it some more.

Twilight. It's everywhere. I'm at Wal-Mart--they have it playing. I'm at Target--there it is again. Even at the Y there was an old lady watching it on her ipod while she was on the treadmill.

The books were bad enough. Or, book, I should say. I refused to read the rest of the series because the first one was traumatic.

And then the movie came out and I had to relive the horror again.

And now the movie is out on DVD and it's torture to the third power.

I have not seen the movie. I'm debating it. On one hand, I've heard it's so cheesy and ridiculous that it's practically high comedy. On the other hand, it's Twilight. Enough said.

My awesome friend Crystal sent me this today and I think it's worthy of sharing (they do use the F word a few times--be warned). There are links to parts 2, 3 and 4 at the end of part 1.

Also, in case you missed it, here's a link to my original Twilight tirade.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sick Day

Liam was sick today, so my normal routine was thrown off. No work out. No house work. I was L-A-Z-Y today, and apparently I needed it. I slept for at least 7 hours over the course of the day. The house is an absolute disaster, but I don't even care.

And apparently Liam has the Twilight stomach virus. It turns you into Edward Cullen.

This is Edward Cullen, for the lucky two of you out there who have not been subjected to the craptasticness that is Twilight.

Be careful. I pose a significant risk.

I finally got a reply to my Google Adsense appeal.


Thanks for providing us with additional information. However, after
thoroughly reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into
consideration, we've re-confirmed that you pose a significant
risk to our advertisers. For this reason, we're unable to reinstate your
account. Thank you for your understanding.

Thieving bastards.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

First, I need to get this off my flat chest. I finally saw the Battlestar Galactica finale last night. I waited 4 years for that? Are you frakking kidding me?


As of this morning I have lost 60 lbs since my surgery, which makes a grand total of 90 lbs since September.

The hair coloring didn't work out quite like I hoped. Since Gay David and I decided bleaching would be bad at this stage of the game, the red is much darker than I had planned. I like it, it's just not a whole lot different than it was before. In fact, it's almost impossible to tell I've done anything to it when you look at the pictures.

The dress I'm wearing is not the purple size 14 I mentioned previously (I'll wear that one next week). This dress is one I found in the Junior's department of Macy's. And it's a size 12. Granted, it's a big size 12--I tried some other twelves and none fit. But the tag says 12, dammit. Oh, and it has a padded chest, which gives the illusion that I actually have boobs.

Because Harmony asked: My size 11 heels of death

Saturday, March 21, 2009


Trim, deep conditioning treatment and brow waxing by Gay David: $50

New dark auburn hair color by Gay David: $65

Having a bright orange scalp for church tomorrow: Priceless

Also, I bought a pair of heels. The last time I wore heels was...never. So please don't laugh too hard when you see me toddling down the hallway.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Since I have to wait for the laundry anyway...

I may as well post.

1. I had my color consultation today. I'm going through with it on Saturday evening. I will be a red head on Sunday. If you hate it, just nod and smile politely anyway, O.K.? And my stylist is like the real life version of Gay Chad. (Local ladies: He's the only male employed at the Regis Salon.)

2. It's not looking good for Will to make the E7 list this year (a promotion). The list was made available to those in high ranking positions today, and a couple of the soldiers in his unit were taken aside and told that they'd been promoted. Will was not. So, it's unlikely he made it. The list will be available to everyone on Tuesday and then we'll know for sure.

3. The pool has been broken all week. I have not felt the sticky film of chlorine and sodium from the primordial soup that is the Y pool since last Friday. That's 1500 calories I haven't burned this week. I feel guilty, like I killed a puppy or something. And I miss one armed retarded girl.

4. I bought a size 14 dress this week, and it fits. I realize 14 probably sounds tent-like to some of you reading this, but I haven't worn a size 14 since, like, 7th grade. And it's only 2 sizes larger than the last winner of America's Next Top Model (a size 10).

5. Speaking of my size, I have lost 57 lbs since January 14th (my surgery date), and 87 pounds since my highest weight (ever) in September.

6. And still speaking of my size, I was at the mall today and realized I could now shop for clothes in nearly any store--not just the fat chick stores. Awesome for me, a nightmare for Will.

7. I've become a little bit of a food nazi. I'm pretty sure I'm starting to piss off my friends.

8. In answer to the 50 (at least) e-mails I get about her each week: Sylwia is like a Peanut M&M. She has a hard outer shell, and it's probably a color that annoys you--like the orange ones. But once you dig a little deeper there's a soft sweetness. Keep digging, though, and all you get is nuts.

9. My friends and I had lunch today with the guy who tried to sell us a Rainbow Vacuum. I'm still not sure why we had lunch with him, but if a guy wants to pay for my lunch at Olive Garden, who am I to say no? He's actually a very nice man, but I'm still confused about why he wanted to hang out with five crazy women on his own dime.

10. Please, no more drama. Two of my friends' lives decided to implode this week, and I was who they called. I'm glad I can be there for them, but I've had enough now. I need some selfish time. I can only say this because they don't read this blog. Otherwise I'd have had to post my frustration on Marianne's blog anonymously.

(And this does not mean I don't want any of you to call me if you need me or have a problem. It's just that these partiular dramas have been draining, and the people seem to have no desire to make a go at bettering their situation, which is one of my top pet peeves.)

And...time to switch loads.

Is he frakking serious?! Updated!

You know that I normally leave the political stuff to those who actually know what they're talking about, but this pisses me off too much to stay quiet.

I am not an Obama hater. He wasn't my first choice for president, but I also wasn't horribly disappointed that he won, either. Just call me a Purple Donkephant. I point this out so you know that I'm not looking for him to fail.

Anyway, Mr. Obama is now on my List. My list of people who's testicles I would remove with a dull, dirty spoon if I had the opportunity.

Here's why.

He needs to create 500 million dollars in the budget for whatever big government program/bailout/etc... plan he has.

His solution? Make vets (retired or just separated from the military) pay for any care relating to their military service by forcing private insurance companies to cover those costs.

For example, let's say Will goes back to Iraq and gets his leg blown off. That will require care for the rest of his life (new prosthetics, physical therapy, etc...). Currently, that care is 100% free through VA hospitals. As it should be, considering that the injury occurred while he was fighting for his country. Under Obama's plan, whatever private insurance we have after retirement or separation would be forced to pay for it. Let's say we have Blue Cross. How is Blue Cross going to absorb these new expenses? They're going to raise the premiums. Not just our premium, but everybody's. As will all other insurance companies.

And let's not forget deductibles. Maybe we'll have a $500 deductible that must be paid before the insurance will pay. That's straight out of our pocket. And what about those without private insurance? What about those who rely solely on VA care? Well, they'll be totally screwed, apparently.

And get this--it's not just those who get injured after this passes. It's retroactive. It would include everyone who is currently receiving care as well.

So, you voluntarily sign up to serve your country, you volunteer to give your life if necessary, and then your country screws you in the ass (Pardon my French).

How very patriotic of you, Mr. President.

Of course, why am I surprised? This is the man who opted to attend the Record Industry Ball rather than the Salute to Heroes Ball (where they honor soldiers) during inauguration week.

Feeling violated much?

To read about Obama's plan go HERE.

You should also stop by my friend Vivian's blog. While I don't always agree with her, I at least find out what's going on in the world. And this post is pretty much stolen directly from her.

UPDATE: Obama has apparently come to his senses and dropped this ridiculous plan.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

R.I.P. Leilani Perkiboobs

WARNING: The following image may be disturbing to some viewers.
Parental discretion is advised.

This was the gruesome scene I found this morning.
Leilani, I vow to find who did this to you and make them pay.
Pay, I tell you!!!

Oh, the humanity!

What are Little Girls Made of?

Sugar and spice...

and everything nice.

And talcum powder.

What are Little Boys Made of?

Snakes and snails...

and puppy dog tails.

And tantrums on picture day that keep them from donning the cap and gown
for the picture, which was the only picture I wanted.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

And on the eighth day, God created Rainbow Cleaning Systems.

Now the Rainbow Salesman was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said Ye shall not make use of every cleaning device of the garden?

And the woman said unto the Rainbow Salesman, We may make use of the cleaning devices of the garden:

But of the Rainbow Cleaning System which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not make use of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye spend money unwisely.

And the Rainbow Salesman said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely spend money unwisely:

For God doth know that in the day ye make use thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing clean from unclean.

And when the woman saw that the Rainbow Cleaning System was good for cleaning, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a cleaning device to be desired to make one's floor and air truly clean, she purchased the Rainbow Cleaning System thereof, and did clean, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did clean.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that their floors were dirty; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves area rugs.

And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.

And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

And Adam said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because my floor was dirty; and I hid myself.

And He said, Who told thee that thou hast dirty floors? Hast thou purchased of the Rainbow Cleaning System, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not purchase?

And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the Rainbow Cleaning System, and I did clean.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The Rainbow Salesman beguiled me, and I did purchase.

And the Lord God said unto the Rainbow Salesman, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy sales pitch and her checkbook; I shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy mess; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children with muddy shoes; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast purchased of the Rainbow Cleaning System, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not purchase it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in filthiness shalt thou live of it all the days of thy life;

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou use regular vacuums, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return via water filtration.

And this, my friends, is why Rainbow Salesmen are not allwed to pitch to the wife without the husband present.

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Fat Frumpy Five

Get comfy, this is a long one.

So, Jason never showed up to kill us at the cottage on the lake in the woods this weekend, although there was a guy named Brian staying in the cottage next door that a certain member of our group hoped would break in.

The group of ladies (and I use the term "ladies" very loosely) that went are known as The Fat Frumpy Five. We're working on becoming the Fabulous Fantastic Five, but for now we're all still fat and frumpy.

The FFF: Ashley, Tina, Stephanie, Sylwia, me.
Please excuse my hair--I had been walking in the rain.
And please excuse everyone else for not wearing bras.

Oh, and notice that we were cottage number 5. That was total coincidence.

The cottage we stayed in was gorgeous. The park is run through a military program, so to be honest my expectations weren't huge. But it was great.

The first night we arrived, settled in and had dinner. Then we had to drive the half hour back to our church building for a talent show. Ben played "The Sleeping Beauty Waltz" on his clarinet with his teacher, Stephanie (who is a Fat Frumpy Five member). He did pretty well considering he had practiced only 3 times.

Then we headed back to the cottage. First we made maxi pad slippers and then we spent the next several hours talking. And talking. And laughing. And talking some more. Around 2 am we all wandered to bed. Sylwia thought this would be an opportune time to scare the bejeebers out of me by telling me there was a guy on the porch and then knocking on the wall, which sounded like it came from the door. Then she talked and talked at us all from bed, despite the calls to SHUT UP, until we all found ways to tune her out and sleep (headphones and an MP3 player worked wonders). Four hours later we got up. After breakfast I went for a walk (see--I kept up my exercising even on vacation), and then we spent the rest of the day talking. And talking. And laughing. And talking some more. And crying. And crying some more. And then more talking. And more laughing. It was about 2 am again when we finally wandered to bed.

This time I was sharing a bed with Sylwia (the sofa bed was horribly uncomfortable). I turned over and tried really hard to fall asleep before she could start talking again. Alas, it didn't work. So, she and I talked and talked. And directly above us Stephanie and Tina talked and talked. Ashley was somehow able to sleep. Two hours later Stephanie and Tina made their way down to our room--if we were up, we might as well be up together. A few minutes later Ashley woke up and joined us. So, all five of us spent the next hour piled in one bed talking. And talking. And laughing. And talking some more.

Around 5:30 am we finally went to bed and slept for a couple of hours. Sunday morning we ate, packed up, and headed to church.

The FFF slightly less frumpified.
It was nice to be the heaviest one there by only 5 pounds rather than, like, 85.

It was the best weekend in a very long time. There's so much more to write, but I figure this is long enough already.

By the way, the creators of this game are geniuses. This is the second girl's weekend in 13 months that I've brought it to, and it's been wildly successful at both.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Running Away

I'm going to be gone until Sunday night, and there are no interwebs where I'm going.

I'm going to be spending Friday the 13th at a camp. On a Lake. In the woods. I'll be sure to say hello to Jason for you when he comes to kill us all.

Anyway, since I won't be posting for a few days, I thought it would be a great opportunity to send you off to visit a few of my most favorite blogs ever.

Now, please don't be offended if your blog is not listed. All the blogs over there ---> are pretty great. But let's face it, some people are just better writers than others and these four are really great writers.

First is Miss Nemesis at Voice of Reason. I just discovered her a couple of weeks ago, and I want to hunt her down and force her to be my best friend.

Next is Jane at What About Mom? I want to go live next door to her and let our kids play together while we chat. And force her to be my best friend.

Then we have Dusty at Pork Tornado. Be warned--he uses adult language, but don't let that scare you away. He's fiercely logical, more than a bit cynical and has a razor sharp wit. And he's a pretty great artist to boot.

Finally there's Ree at Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. There's a little something for everyone here--glimpses of a city girl's life on a huge ranch in the country, cooking, home and garden, photography and homeschooling. And calf nuts.

Oh, and those of you whom I attend church with? Don't judge me by my children's appearances this week. I will not be home for dressing and hair brushing.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Better Homes and Gardens: Swimsuit Edition

So, back when I posted my very first before picture, a few of you clamored that I wasn't wearing a swimsuit. Trust me, I was doing you a favor.

And while I'm still not thrilled with how I look in one, I at least don't feel like a freak during the walk from the locker room to the pool.

So, for those of you who were pushing for a swimsuit picture, here you go. (It's the same before pic you've seen a million times, I just happened to be facing the wrong way for the picture this morning, so I flipped the original before shot).

57 days post op, 49 pounds lost.

In other non-swimsuit related news, I finally got my garden done. It's just a small raised bed with a few things we eat a lot of. Hopefully It'll all grow nicely and not be diseased. Two years ago I had seven tomato plants. I had bushels and bushels of tomatoes, not a single one edible. They had some weird, black rot. However we also had a watermelon vine that took over the yard and it produced some of the yummiest sugar baby melons I'd ever tasted. So, who knows?

Clockwise from front left: Cucumbers (4), Corn (6), Scallions, Sweet Basil, Cherry tomatoes (2), Roma tomatoes, Green bell pepper, Cilantro, Strawberries (2).


Not Quite Right.

My sister's kids are, times.

My sister had seen a mouse or two lurking so she bought some mouse traps. The mouse traps had the words "Mouse Trap" printed on them (you know, in case you can't tell what it is).

She came into the kitchen to find my nephew, Aiden (who's 7), with a marker crossing out the printed "Mouse Trap."

When asked why, he replied, "You don't want the mouse to read what it is!"

Good thinking.

This is my niece (Ruby, far right) and nephew (Aiden, far left) with my kids during a week long visit a couple of years ago. This picture sums up the week perfectly--everyone crying or angry. It kind of reminds me of one of those children's sponsorship program commercials.
For just 50 cents a day, you could give these children a better life...

P.S. Just 12 hours until the swimsuit unveiling...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The 4th child.

First, why did no one tell me I spelled thieving wrong in the title of my last post? Geez, people, help a girl out!

Anyway, last night I put some water in the microwave to heat. While it was heating I discovered the Google Ad fiasco and was fuming and filling out the appeal form when it finished.

I have one of those microwaves that annoyingly beeps every 30 seconds until you open the door when it's done.

After about the 4th beep I unconsciously turned to the microwave and yelled, "Just a minute! Mommy is very busy right now!!"

Hmmm...can't imagine where that came from...

P.S. Tomorrow I'm going to do the unthinkable. I'm going to post a swimsuit picture. Of myself. You've been warned.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Thieving bastards.

So, if you look to the right you'll see three empty spots where ads used to be.

I tried to log into my Google Ad account to see how much moolah I had collected by doing nothing today. I was met with a message saying that my account had been disabled and all the earnings were being returned to the sponsors because of "invalid click activity."

When one tries to find out what to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks they're talking about, one is met by another message stating that they can't tell you because it's a secret. Seriously. A secret.

I appealed the account disabling, but you all know as well as I do that it won't help.

So, essentially, I provided ad space for the past month and a half FOR FREE.

I should lawyer up. I want my $188!! That would at least cover the cost of the consult with the plastic surgeon.

I guess I need to pony up the member fee and get Blog Her ads. They're not a bunch of lying, thieving, secret combination-having Gadianton Robbers over there.


A Good Day...

...Is getting a box full of Penny Loves Kenny ballet flats in the mail.

A great day is only having paid a grand total of $14.99 for the whole box, including shipping.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Soup and Sweat

So, I'm going away on a girl's weekend Friday. I'm going to make them a pot of this. I think it'll be a big hit.

I saw this at Kroger today, and did a double take because I didn't think it really said what I thought it did. And then I giggled the rest of the time I shopped, because I'm 12 like that.

In other news, I have a problem. You'll laugh, but it's serious.

I have a real issue with, umm, crotch sweat. Lately I look like I wet myself after I work out. My hoo-ha works hard for her money. Got any suggestions?