Friday, April 30, 2010

As promised.

So, I told you a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to talk about my period.

(Umm, right now would be a good time for anyone who is uncomfortable with menses talk to leave.)

Most of you assumed that I wanted to complain about it because I was having it right then. I wasn't. I was despairing over it because I realized when I would have it.

May 4th. You know, the day of my surgery.

Do you know what it's like to have major surgery and your period at the same time? I do. You know how I know? Because I also got my period on January 14th, 2009--the day I had gastric bypass surgery. It was awful.

Maybe if I had somewhat normal periods it wouldn't be a big deal. However, I don't have normal periods. I have weeklong crotch massacres. Days two and three, I can't even leave my house. I have to sit on towels. I can only wear black. If that much blood came from anyplace but my uterus, they'd have to give me a blood transfusion.

And then add being in pain from major abdominal surgery. In the hospital. Stuck in a (very uncomfortable) bed. Unable to wear normal underwear because of incisions and drains. Bleeding all over the freakin' place.
And that's what I have to look forward to Tuesday.

But at least I'll wake up without a pannus.

(And on a side note, when I was looking for a picture for this post I found these.

Yeah. Reusable pads. I'm sorry, but I can't possibly imagine caring about the environment enough to wash out used pads. Of course, I feel the same way about diapers, so...)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

There can be miracles...

Holy crap, internets. I get to have my tummy tuck on Tuesday!!! That's really all I have to say right now. My labs weren't normal (again), so I had myself convinced that I wouldn't be able to get it. But then the secretary called and said we're on for Tuesday for sure. So, umm...awesome.

O.K., I'll write more tomorrow when I can be coherent. I'm too freaking excited right now.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Suck it, starving babies.

So, any of you who regularly read the comments here know that my friend Sylwia will not allow you bemoan your life circumstances.

It doesn't mater how bad things might be for you, she will point out all the people who have it worse.

You lost your job? Well, there are child prostitutes in India.

You're beyond stressed trying to keep up with life? Try growing up in communist Poland and then emigrating to the US only to live in abject poverty.

You lost your right foot in a freak lawn mower accident? Hello! Starving babies, people!

Anyway, I was picking Amelia up from Sylwia's house yesterday after my cryfest at the surgeon's office.

And she asked to see my pannus.

So I whipped it out. (You would, too.)

And then...and then she touched it. She reached out and gingerly lifted the pasty, gelatinous mass of flesh hanging off my stomach.

And then she said something along the lines of, "That's really big. That's bad. They need to do something about that."

Internets, Sylwia thinks it's bad. Sure, maybe not starving baby bad, but still.

I now feel completely justified in being a big cry baby about this situation. Your country is drought ridden and poverty stricken? Big deal. Have you seen my pannus?

Monday, April 26, 2010

The continuing saga of my pannus

(I was going to post a picture of my pannus here but I didn't.

You're welcome.)

So the answer I got today was maybe.


That's the best I could get today when I went in to beg and plead for my tummy tuck.

Here's the deal: Apparently, the combination of an overactive thyroid and the effects of anesthesia equals a very high chance of having a heart attack on the table.

That's why I can't have surgery while my thyroid is still acting like a wayward child.

So, I went and talked with endocrinology first thing this morning. This endocrinologist, like my regular one, says that it appears to be a temporary thing, even though the labs from two weeks ago look worse than the ones from back in March. He thinks I could possibly be back to normal by next week. Possibly.

The plastic surgeon had me go through the whole pre-op process today just in case, and drew more blood to see what shenanigans my thyroid is up to this week. If by some miracle it's normal, I'll have surgery as scheduled next Tuesday. If it's not normal (which realistically is the likely outcome), he will postpone the surgery until the latest date he can before I move--so, the end of May. If my thyroid is still being obnoxious at that point, then I'm just screwed.

I should know by Thursday if the surgery is on for Tuesday. But honestly, I'm not holding my breath.

Have I mentioned this sucks?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sunday thoughts that will likely send me to hell.

They meant this.

I apparently was not in a Sunday frame of mind this morning.

The kids were watching New Testament Stories (you know, the ones the church puts out where it's just static illustrations with narration?).

The narrator said, "And Jesus cast his fishnets into the sea and commanded his disciples to likewise cast their fishnets into the sea." And when I heard this, all I could imagine was Jesus and His disciples flinging fishnet stockings into the water.

I know. I'm going to hell.

They did not mean this.

P.S. Do not do a Google Image search for "Jesus fishnets." Just...don't.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Well this sucks.

Internets, I'm distraught.

Remember how I told you my thyroid was wonky? And then remember how I told you my endocrinologist thought that it was just temporary? Yeah, it wasn't. I'm still all messed up.

And it wouldn't be so bad except that I can't have my tummy tuck if it's not being treated. And of course my endocrinologist is out of town until next Friday. There's another endocrinologist that I used to see that will be in on Monday, so I'm going to try to see him and beg him to give me clearance for the surgery. (I'm not exaggerating. I will beg. On my knees, if necessary.)

If he doesn't, I'm screwed. It means I might have to wait quite awhile (like, a year) for it and probably pay out of pocket.

I'm not a happy camper.

There might even be tears and four letter words involved right now.

Honestly, I don't even want to think about not getting it in two weeks. Last night I was out walking and I kept hearing a slapping noise. I realized it was my pannus (hi Lydia!) hitting my thighs as I walked.

I heard a story about a (crazy) woman who gave herself a tummy tuck. It's not sounding so crazy anymore.

Internets, think positive thoughts for me, O.K.? I need this tummy tuck. It's not simply cosmetic. As I told one person who criticized my decision to have it and called it purely cosmetic: Tie a 5 pound bag of flour around your waist and leave it there. For a year.

Gah. This frakkin sucks!

Thursday, April 22, 2010


I think this picture is kind of awesome.
And UnLocke being in the Jesus position intrigues me.

I suppose I should talk about Lost today, but the episode was kind of...meh...

What I really want to talk about is my menstrual cycle and how it sucks. Or how I've got scleritis in my left eye and it hurts like a mother (Have you ever heard of scleritis? It fluctuates between feeling like your eyeball is going to burst and feeling like someone is boring a hole in your eyeball with a spork). Or I could tell you about Liam informing us that he's done going to school because he already knows everything. EVERYTHING. (So then I asked him what 3 times 7 is and the little turd answered 21, so I guess he's right. He knows everything. Who needs first grade?)

But I'll just talk about Lost. Don't worry though. Tomorrow is totally going to be about my period.

So, I really liked Jack's little Q and A with UnLocke at the beginning. I hoped we'd get more answers (because if I was Jack, I'd be all, "What the hell are you? What are you made out of? Why do you kill everyone? Where did you come from? How did you get here?") but in typical Lost fashion, Jack didn't ask anything we really needed to know. Sure, it's nice to know why Christian Shepherd was wandering around the island in season one, but I don't really care at this point.

Back in LA in the alternate time line, Desmond was making me uncomfortable. He was pretty much stalking Claire, and if I were Claire I'd have been really creeped out and calling security and buying pepper spray. But at least now we know where Ilana is and Jack and Claire know they're siblings in all the timelines.

O.K., so back on the island--Hurley's "You look good" to Claire had me laughing. All I can think when I see her now is "Give the girl a comb!" I mean, Danielle had been the resident crazy woman looking for her baby for 16 years and she looked way better than Claire.

And raise your hand if you thought Jin and Sun were going to get fried by the sonic fence when they ran to each other. I totally did, and I'll admit it--I'm kind of disappointed they didn't. I like Sun and Jin and I'm glad they finally got reunited (after two and a half seasons! Yeah, it's been that long), but having their brains bleed out their ears just before they touched would have been pretty awesome.

And Sawyer was kind of a douche in this episode. It's a sad day when I like Jack better.

Anyway, it wasn't a great episode, but it was one of those necessary filler episodes that's needed to get everyone where they need to be for something big to happen. I expect bigger, better things next week. Although who knows what next week will be about because we didn't get a preview here!

So if you saw a preview, tell me about it, O.K.?

Alright, that's it. Tomorrow we discuss my menstrual cycle and why it's proof the universe hates me.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Sorry internets--no time to write today.

Instead, please to enjoy my two new favorite inappropriate blogs. There's a lot of swearing involved. And the second one is exclusively about sex. You've been warned.

Another warning? You will totally pee yourself laughing. Or at least I did. (Go back in the archives for both. Today's posts aren't spectacularly funny, but still good.)

Mommy Wants Vodka

Toy With Me

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Joining the 21st century

I may have to remove this picture. It makes the whole blog look crooked
and my OCD can't take it.

So, Will and I are contemplating coming out of the dark ages and getting real phones when we move.

Currently we both have prepaid Tracfones that cost us $5 at Wal-Mart. But you can text (with difficulty) and hey, they have more than one ringtone to choose from!

But Will's job will require a lot of texting and calling. And I like cool gadgets. Plus hello, e-mail on my phone would be awesome. And hey, I even talked on my cellphone twice this week. By choice!

Unfortunately, our first pick of phones and service plans is a little too pricey for our budget (Droids with unlimited everything and a data plan). So, we're looking around at less expensive options. Really, anything will be an upgrade at this point, but if we're going to drop our landline and lock ourselves into a contract, we want something good.

So internets, help me. What should we get? What do you have? Advise me, oh wise and technologically advanced ones.

Here's our wish list:
  • Will wants a full texting keyboard.
  • I want a touch screen.
  • Data would be really, really great. More my wish than Will's.
  • This will replace our landline entirely, however we're not really phone people so we could probably get by without an unlimited plan.
  • I want a really good camera in mine.
  • It needs to get service in the Clarksville, Tennessee area.
  • Preferably $100 a month or less for the plan.

Monday, April 19, 2010

I've got nothing. Not even boobs.

This picture will make sense in a minute.

Internets, I don't know what's wrong with me. I have nothing to say. I always have something to say!

The closest thing to a story I have for you is that we were at Wal-Mart (again) on Friday night and we saw a man with boobs. Not man-boobs. Boobs. Like, implants. Like, I was jealous of them.

What's weird (you know, besides the fact that he was a man with boobs) was that he wasn't trying to be feminine in any way. He was quite manly. But with boobs.

And the best part? He was wearing a shirt that said "I love my wife" right across his perky, ample bosom.

Friday, April 16, 2010

What I'll miss most about Georgia.

I know this is going to sound like I made it up, but I swear to you I did not. You can't make stuff like this up. And if you've ever been to Georgia for more than five minutes you'll know there's no need for me to make it up because the examples are plentiful.

My cashier at Wal-Mart today was named VaGeena, and the cashier next to her who came over to help bag my stuff was named VaNirielle.

Wait for it...

They were identical twins.

Oh, Georgia. There are some things I'll miss about you.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

You can come with me or you can keep trying to blow stuff up.

That was my favorite line this week.

O.k., so have I mentioned that I love Hurley episodes? Because I do.

So first of all, I was totally right about love being the key. Which raises an interesting question for me. What about Locke? Everyone else has a "soul mate" from either the island time line or from pre-island life (Desmond & Penny, Charlie & Claire, Sayid & Nadia, Hurley & Libby, Sawyer & Juliet and/or Kate, Jack & Kate...I would even go so far as to say Ben & Alex--although not romantically, obviously). Locke, however, didn't get to be with his soul mate until the alternate time line. She ditched him in the pre-island time line. But I'll get back to Locke later.

Anyway, back to Hurley. One of the saddest moments in Lost was when Hurley was crying over Libby's body and saying he was sorry he forgot the blanket. I was really glad to see that he remembered it this time. Their whole storyline this week was really sweet and I loved it.

Now, onto Desmond. I was getting Jacob vibes from him in the alternate time line. Last season, we saw Jacob go around to each of the candidates and set them each on a path that would bring them to the island. This week Desmond was going around and in the same subtle way trying to get them to remember the island. You know, until he got to Locke. Holy crap! I did not see that coming. And it was awesome. I've never liked Locke's character, even before his body was inhabited by an evil smoke monster.

Speaking of not seeing it coming, I wasn't expecting to see Ilana get Arzted. I suppose I should have, what with the way she was carelessly flinging around a bag of highly unstable 150 year old dynamite, but I was completely caught off guard by it.

But what I did see coming was Unlocke pushing Desmond down the well. I'm pretty sure Desmond knew it was coming, too, but for whatever reason allowed it to happen. I'll find it very hard to believe if it turns out he had no idea.

One thing I'm not loving about this season is the way they're answering some of the big questions. Don't get me wrong--I love that the answers are coming--but sometimes it seems forced. Like the whole whispers thing this week. It just didn't fit in the show, and the way they worked it in was cheesy and corny. But I won't complain too much, because hey--now we know exactly what the whispers are.

I think the most worrying thing this season is that it really does seem like the answer to the whole show is Purgatory (or something Purgatory-like). I mean, Micheal saying he can't move on because of his past deeds all but confirmed it. It would be really disappointing after all these seasons to find out that the big reveal is something even casual viewers were speculating about way back before the first season was even half over. I keep hoping that Damon and Carlton are just toying with us--just doing this to tease everyone who so adamantly refused to believe it was Purgatory five years ago--and that the big reveal will be something better.

Oh, and was anyone else completely creeped out by the preview for next week? That song from Willy Wonka is pretty much the creepiest song ever, but when you combine it with freaky shots of Claire and Locke it's downright terrifying.

So anyway, here are some predictions/thoughts/questions:

  • I'm now completely on board with everyone who says the mystery kid is young Jacob.
  • I want to know more about Aaron's role in all this.
  • I want to know why pregnant women died on the island after the incident. That was such a huge part of the show that they can't just ignore it.
  • I think Desmond will have to die to save the world.
  • Sawyer and Juliet will meet in the alternate time line and remember each other, just like Hurley and Libby, et al...
  • Juliet is the mother of Jack's son.
  • I'm still not convinced Jacob is a completely good guy.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

You're welcome, Lost delayers.

My pop tart tower is bigger than yours.

I really want to write about Lost right now. A lot. However, I had a bunch of people write and beg me not to talk about it until Thursday at the earliest each week because they, for various reasons, can't watch it until at least Wednesday.

So you're freakin' welcome. I'm restraining myself.

Instead I'll catch you up on a few tidbits.

1. We officially have real orders to Fort Campbell, KY. There's no turning back now.

2. Turns out that maybe my luck isn't as bad as I thought and my thyroid issue might have been temporary (brought on by my body trying to fight off Pneumonia and bronchitis). The blood work results will tell us for sure tomorrow, but all signs point to my eyes not falling out.

3. Liam can read now. He reads all the time, just for fun. I love how excited he gets when he figures out a new word.

4. We are now charging Ben full replacement costs for everything he destroys due to laziness and/or slovenliness. He had to fork over $20 today for a new pair of jeans and his class picture (the picture is seriously pissing me off. He just jammed it into his binder and creased it in a million places. He's eleven, and he's smart. He should know better).

5. The commissary had boxes of mini Pop Tarts for forty cents today (normally $2.79!). Each box has six bags. I bought all they had. There's now a tower of Pop Tart boxes in my garage. Really. A tower.

6. I will be gloating over how my theory about love was right writing about Lost tomorrow, so if you haven't seen it by then, don't cry to me. You've been warned.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Chicken Legs!

For years and years, every Friday night my grandmother would head over to the American Legion to play bingo. If I was at her house, I'd go too. Once I was old enough, I even played. Imagine 16 year old me sitting in an American Legion hall filled with chain smoking old ladies, with my bingo markers and good luck charms all lined up in front of my 25 cards, dauber in hand. Pathetic, no?

The guy who called the numbers (Onee, I think his name was), was, interesting character. Interesting as in toothless and rumored to be the father of his grandchild. (Yeah, just think about that for a minute.)

Anyway, he always had nicknames for certain numbers. For example, "O 69! Dinner for two!" (classy, right?) and "I 17! The Dancing Queen!"

And for B 11? "Chicken legs!"

Which brings me to the point of this story (I swear, there is one).

Today he's officially chicken legs!

Happy birthday, Ben.

(You can read about his birth HERE.)

Monday, April 12, 2010

No whammies!

O.K., so if you know what the title is referring to, congratulations. You're old like me.


I was thinking about Lost again today and how it's almost over forever. And that made me think about how one of the things I used to worry about was dying before it ended and never knowing the final answers.

Seriously--I've said this before. It was a real concern.

If I developed some terminal illness I was going to have the Make-a-Wish Foundation hook me up with Damon and Carlton for a little question and answer session on my death bed.

So anyway, I was thinking about that today, and how I don't really have to worry about that anymore because it'll be over next month and odds are I probably won't die over the next six weeks.

But then I remembered that I'm having major surgery just a couple of weeks before the big finale.

Crap, internets. I'm totally pressing my luck!* I'm tempting the universe. I can hear it now. "Dude, you know what would be hi-lar-ious? Killing off that Brandi chick with just two episodes of Lost to go. "

You know my luck. I'm the girl with the eight pound ovarian cyst.

I'm as good as dead.

*If you didn't know what the title was referring to, there's your hint.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

All You Need is Love

I keep forgetting to talk about Lost.

So, Desmond was back. I love Desmond. I have a lot of favorite characters on Lost, but Desmond is my favorite favorite. I love Desmond so much I didn't even notice Sawyer wasn't in this episode until someone pointed it out to me.

O.K., so first of all--who said last week that the timelines seem to be bleeding into each other? That's right, bitches. That was me. And this week only served to prove me right.

Second of all, I was glad to see Daniel back. He adds a splash of crazy weirdo to the show that I'd been missing. Also, I completely forgot that he and Penny would be siblings and that he's Widmore's son.

Thirdly (is that even a word?), I'm starting to think that people who died on the island but are alive in the alternate timeline seem to know more about what's going on than everybody else. I can't really back it up with evidence--it's just a hunch. Charlie, Keamy, George (the limo driver)...they just seemed to know something. And if all the people who think that Keamy said something about the island to Jin last week are correct, then that further supports my hunch. I guess the exceptions would be Alex and Leslie Artz.

Fourthly (yeah...definitely not a word), I want to know what the rules of this "game" are. Ben and Widmore referred to them way back a few seasons ago when Ben showed up in Widmore's room and said he was going to kill his daughter. Eloise spoke of a "violation" in this episode, and I'm pretty sure she was referring to Charlie forcing Desmond to remember his life with Penny. And I also really want to know why it isn't the right time for him to meet her--why Eloise seems so dead set on keeping him away from her (see more on this in a quote further down).

Finally, I think that we're going to find out that it all boils down to love. A Lost Theorist named Vozzek wrote this, and I think it sums up my thoughts far better than I could:

"So who created this new universe? We've always assumed it was Juliet, setting off Jughead with that rock. Yet someone has definitely stacked the deck here. Someone with intimate knowledge (or scanning?) of our main characters has tried, in a very Matrix-like way, to create the perfect utopia for each and every one of our heroes.

In a careful, calculated manner, someone has been trying to give our LAX characters exactly what it thinks they want, but at the same time, keep them completely in the dark about what happened in their previous, island-based lives. They're using happiness to suppress past memories, but love is the one thing that wasn't counted on. As is so often the case, Love overrides everything else, spoiling the plan."

O.k., so I guess that's it. Every week I think to myself, "I give up. I'm not going to think about it and analyze it. I'm just going to watch these last episodes and enjoy it." But that never happens. I'm excited that it's almost over and we'll finally have most of the answers we want, but I'm also sad. I'll miss it.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Why he's my favorite (sometimes).

This is one of my favorite pictures of him. He was two.

Liam: Mom, I don't want a job when I'm big.

Me: Why not?

Liam: Because what if I'm at lunch and I'm the last one in line and everybody in front of me is all, "Oooh, ranch dressing!" and they take some and when it's my turn the guy says, "Sorry, sir. We're out of ranch." That would make me sad.

(Sorry. I know my posts have been kid-heavy this week. That's what happens when I'm forced to spend every waking moment with them for an ENTIRE WEEK.)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

It'll shrivel up and fall off!

So, boys are gross. They just are.

Last week I did laundry and Ben only had one pair of dirty underwear.

I hadn't done laundry for five days.

That means he'd only changed his underwear once in five days.
And sadly, this has happened numerous times before.

(Liam on the other hand always has, like, 27 pairs in the laundry. He inherited some of my OCD and I'm pretty sure he changes his before each meal and when he gets home from school.)

Anyway, I needed to put a stop to Ben's crunchy undies once and for all and I figured fear was my best bet. I told him that his penis would get infected from the bacteria and that if the infection got bad enough, his penis might have to be removed. Or worse, it might disintegrate and fall off.

Guess who had six pairs of dirty underwear in the laundry when I washed it today?

Male grossness: 0 Fear of losing one's penis: 1

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Perhaps I'll let them live.

Sometimes the kids give me a reason not to sell them on E-Bay. (Wait, does that make me sound old and uncool? Would it be more hip and youthful to say Craigslist?)

Anyway, here's why I decided to keep them. For today, anyway.

(Ben refused to be on camera, but he's providing the beat and assisting with vocals. Oh yeah, be sure to pause the playlist before watching the video.)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Another lame post.

Sorry internets.

I totally feel like I'm letting you down.

I sat down a few times today to try to write something and the only thoughts that came to mind were "don't kill the kids" and "you need to clean bathrooms today." Mostly, though, it was "don't kill the kids."
It's hot and I'm dangerously menstrual and I don't like kids in general, so being cooped up with them all day isn't good for me OR them and I haven't completely shaken the pneumonia and bronchitis and there have been an over abundance of elderly Asian people at the Y who smell like sweat and garlic this week and I was really looking forward to relaxing with a tall glass of lemonade and Lost, but my stupid DVR won't let me watch it while it's still recording, which is ridiculous because I do it every week, which is further proof that the universe, including Dish Network, hates me today.

However, this did make me laugh:

It came from this site, which is pretty funny. And makes me want to vandalize stuff.

O.K., it's 10:00. Hopefully the DVR will stop being a little bitch so I can watch Lost now.

Wish me luck.

Monday, April 5, 2010

I don't think we'll all make it out of this week alive.

The only difference between me and those women who drown their children is a little bit of self control.

(Seriously, who decided a week off of school was a good idea? Isn't that why I pay taxes? So someone else can deal
with their crap all day?)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter!

Every time I open the refrigerator I'm startled by this.

Happy Easter!

(Or Passover.)

(Or, ummm....hope you're having a good non-holiday Sunday.)

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Not as pointless as I thought.

So, this week's Lost was just kind of so-so for me. I like Sun and Jin, but their episodes tend to bore me and it seems like nothing really moves forward in them.

This one was kind of the same, although we did find out that Desmond is going to be key in resolving the series (which I totally called a few weeks ago, thankyouverymuch.)

And I pretty much thought that was all we really learned. (Oh, and I loved that Jin got to see pictures of his daughter).

But then I woke up in the middle of the night Thursday with a thought, that if correct, means a big clue was actually given to us.

You know how Sun whacked her head and suddenly couldn't speak English anymore? Yeah, I totally thought that was lame and couldn't figure out why they'd bother to do that when there's just so fricking much else to cram into the few hours of show left. I was really annoyed by it. I thought and thought about why they'd bother to do that.

And then I woke up with my theory.

The timelines are beginning to bleed into each other. In the alternate timeline, Sun didn't learn English. Then she wakes up on the island and suddenly can't speak English. Just watch--I bet we'll start seeing more examples like this.

So that's it. My big theory.

I also think that the big deal Jin made about his name being Kwon and Sun's name being Paik when they got to the hotel was a clue. I think it was meant to show us that Jin is the candidate, not Sun.

Oh, another thing I've been thinking about. Remember last season when they were flashing through time every few hours? Remember in the episode "The Little Prince" when the time flashing Losties were in the canoe in the dark in a rainstorm and they flashed and were suddenly being shot at by unseen people in another canoe? And then Juliet fired back and shot someone, but we never found out who (the Losties never even knew) because they time flashed again immediately after? I bet the time they ended up in was NOW, and I bet we'll find out who Juliet shot (and probably killed), and I bet it will be someone important, and probably one of the good guys. Because that's just how Lost works.

O.k., so now my head hurts. I'm sure like every other theory I've had, these will prove to be wrong too.

Friday, April 2, 2010

It was like that battle scene in Braveheart.

Today was the Annual Kindergarten Easter Egg Hunt at Liam's school.

Imagine 100 five-year-olds lined up across the top of a hill and 2000 candy filled eggs glinting in the sun on the playground below.

Imagine the scene when the teacher yelled "Go!"

There were screaming kindergartners running everywhere. It was chaos, I tell you.

Here's a video, although it doesn't really do the scene justice. Amelia decided to start whining at me just as I was about to start filming, so I missed the initial rush, and then a bunch of adults congregated in front of me. But you get the idea. Enjoy.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Thursday Evening Confessions

Nothing to do with anything. Just thought it was funny.

1. I haven't worn a bra in weeks. There's just no reason to. There's nothing there to support. (Sylwia, this does not change my opinion of your braless state.)

2. I cannot get enough goat cheese. Especially when I have it with some baby spinach, dried cranberries and sugar free mandarin orange segments.

3. I completely forgot that next week is Spring break here. I swear my kids just had a week off last month. They don't need another one. I don't think I can handle it.

4. I lost three pounds while I slept last night, which is kind of weird because yesterday was the first day I'd exercised in almost two weeks. And I've been eating a lot of peanut butter cups recently. And you know, goat cheese.

5. I hate pay day. I like the money, but I hate the meal planning, the grocery shopping and the bill paying that goes along with it.

6. I secretly hope that I'll see Tiger on a clandestine date with one of his mistresses at Chik-Fil-A while he's here for the Masters.

7. I'm pretty sure they put crack in peanut butter cups.

8. I'm pretty sure they put crack in goat cheese.

9. I was seriously thisclose to getting violent at the commissary today. Luckily, someone did it for me. I forgot that the first is when all the retirees come to shop. The aisles were clogged with them. This one old guy stood in the middle of the aisle, completely blocking the flow of traffic in both directions, yelling into his cell phone (no really, yelling) about vinegar to who ever was on the other end. People politely asked him to move. He ignored them. People tapped him, thinking maybe he couldn't hear them, and he still ignored them. Finally, a woman who must have been as fed up with old people shenanigans I was, shoved him and his cart out of the way, knocking over a display of Easter cookies in the process. I don't know her, but I love her.

10. Spring only lasts for a week in Georgia. It's now Summer, complete with 90 degree days.