As promised.

So, I told you a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to talk about my period.

(Umm, right now would be a good time for anyone who is uncomfortable with menses talk to leave.)

Most of you assumed that I wanted to complain about it because I was having it right then. I wasn't. I was despairing over it because I realized when I would have it.

May 4th. You know, the day of my surgery.

Do you know what it's like to have major surgery and your period at the same time? I do. You know how I know? Because I also got my period on January 14th, 2009--the day I had gastric bypass surgery. It was awful.

Maybe if I had somewhat normal periods it wouldn't be a big deal. However, I don't have normal periods. I have weeklong crotch massacres. Days two and three, I can't even leave my house. I have to sit on towels. I can only wear black. If that much blood came from anyplace but my uterus, they'd have to give me a blood transfusion.

And then add being in pain from major abdominal surgery. In the hospital. Stuck in a (very uncomfortable) bed. Unable to wear normal underwear because of incisions and drains. Bleeding all over the freakin' place.
And that's what I have to look forward to Tuesday.

But at least I'll wake up without a pannus.

(And on a side note, when I was looking for a picture for this post I found these.

Yeah. Reusable pads. I'm sorry, but I can't possibly imagine caring about the environment enough to wash out used pads. Of course, I feel the same way about diapers, so...)