Just keep swimming.

There's a creepy guy at the pool who has decided I'm his new best friend.

He's older, probably late sixties. He's really, really short and overweight and is covered with scary looking moles. Hello, Kettle. I'm Pot. My, you're looking black today. He has a Hitler-style mustache (just bushier, somehow), gold hoop pirate earrings and he wears man-pris. In fact, just imagine Hitler older and fatter and friendlier and gay and there you go (though I don't think creepy-pool man is gay).


And he wants to be my buddy.

It started a couple of months ago when he shared the lap lane with me. Now, even if there are open lanes, he hops in mine. Fine, I can deal with that. But then he started getting chatty. He'd stop me mid lap to talk. I tried being polite. I really did. And after a month or so I finally just told him flat out that I couldn't keep stopping to talk because I only had a limited amount of time to exercise.

Didn't help.

So then I started moving to an open lane if he got in mine. He didn't take the hint. He followed me.

Then I got my waterproof MP3 player. I thought that maybe it would make it easier--I could totally pretend that I couldn't hear him talking to me. And I'm swimming, so it's easy to pretend I don't see him talking to me. Nope. Now he touches me to get my attention. I am not a toucher, people. I'm not a hugger. I'm not even a hand shaker (hello, germs!). So the touching was too much.

Today I snapped.

"Please, I don't like being touched. I'm here to exercise. I'm not here to socialize. I really would just prefer to swim and not talk anymore."

He said sorry. I swam off.

Then I saw him crying.

I made him cry.

Geez, people, I'm awful.

Especially because I pretended I didn't see him crying and just kept swimming.

Oopsie.

So, I sort of forgot to officially announce what the next Bad Girls' Book Club pick was. It was discussed in the comments of our first discussion, but you may not have all seen that.

I think we'll make BGBC a bi-monthly event rather than monthly, so that means you still have a whole month to read this one.

The book this time is The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Some of you hate to know anything about the plot beforehand (which I learned from previous angry e-mails), so I won't post it here. If you want to read the description, just click the link.

This is one of those books that people either hate or they love. I loved it. But I will warn you--there's a lot of swearing. There's also a little sex, though I don't remember it being graphic or vulgar in description. And there are some parts of the book that while not inappropriate, are disturbing.

This book stuck with me. A year after I've read it, I still sometimes think about it. I'm going to re-read it for the purpose of discussion, but to be completely honest I almost don't want to. I'll talk more about why when we have our discussion. I'd have to give plot away to talk about it now.

So, get reading! And going to see the movie instead of reading it is cheating (but if you're going to see the movie, call me. I want to go). And just based on the intricacies of the story, I know there's no way the movie can possibly cover the book completely anyway.

For those of you who want to get started on December's book, the overwhelming majority of you suggested The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Annie Barrows and Mary Ann Shaffer. I haven't read this one yet, so I'm trusting all of you who said it was great.

And for those of you who are really over-achievers, February's pick, again chosen because of the sheer number of you who suggested it, is The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood.

O.K., I'll see you back here on October 17th.

Like mother, like daughter.

So guess who turned 27 today? Oh wait, I guess it was only 4. I forget sometimes, what with all her eye rolling and talking back and knowing everything.

She got a few fun presents, but this was by far her favorite of them all.

I'm pretty sure there's a picture of me somewhere just like this one, only I'm older. In addition to Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies, I have also received as gifts Doritos and Cambell's Cream of Broccoli soup.

By the way, she's already eaten three of them and it's only 1:00.

Yeah, I'm a bad mom for letting her eat them. Why don't you write me a big, long e-mail about it, and how I can improve, mkay?

Wanna see something crazy?

So, this was me just barely over a year ago (with Tina at our joint birthday bash).

And this was me last Friday.

The before picture I normally post is after I lost 30 pounds pre-surgery. The picture from our birthday party was before I lost any weight at all. So, that was me at my heaviest (305 pounds, if you're curious).

So, that's what a 143 pound loss looks like (yes, you did your math correctly. I currently weigh 162 pounds. Just 12 more to go).

Duuuude.

So, I'm pretty sure that The Dharma Initiative has infiltrated my
rural Georgia town, and I think they want me.

First, there was the secret Dharma station under my AC unit at our first house.

Now there's this, just a few houses away.

If I spot Ben Linus, I'm outta here.
(If you don't hear from me for awhile, it means I spotted Sawyer and am, uhhh, occupied).

Lunchtime Poll Topic #11

Ooooh, freaky. LTPT #11 is on the eleventh.

In case you've forgotten (like I did last year), today is September 11th.




And I'm really happy that it's been named a national day of service*. While we should always remember what happened and those who died, I think it's good that the day can be something positive as well.

So, that brings me to today's LTPT:

What service are you going to do today?

I did mine yesterday. The women of our church congregation donated material and time and talent and got together last night and sewed 22 baby blankets. These will be donated to the local Ronald McDonald House to be given to families who are there with sick babies. You may think that a blanket is a small thing when these families are dealing with so much, possibly even the impending death of their child, but as someone who was the recipient of a few donated blankets during Liam's medical ordeal, I can tell you it means a lot. We may not have needed a blanket, but it was the sentiment behind the blanket that we needed.

What will you do today?

*I know that most of us do not need a day specified by the government to do service. However, I think that doing a little extra today is a wonderful way to honor those who gave their lives eight years ago.

Thursday Morning Confessions: OCD Edition

So, I know that OCD is a real and debilitating disorder that many people suffer from. Lots of times I'll say I have OCD, but I know that in reality I do not and if someone who really does suffer from it ever heard me say it, they might slap me (after they turned the kitchen lights on and off 27 times and washed their hands raw).

But I do have obsessive compulsive tendencies, and today you get to read just how much of a freak I really am.

1. I have to take a shower after I clean the bathrooms. A good hand washing will not suffice.

2. I can't eat anything with corn mixed in it (with the odd exception of shepherd's pie). This isn't about flavor. This isn't merely a case of disliking a food. I love corn. But in my head, there's something sinister about it when I see it mixed with other ingredients. Corn chowder? From the devil himself.

3. I'm a counter. I count stairs, ceiling tiles, floor tiles, you name it. And I freak out a little if they're odd numbers.

4. Imagine you're riding in the front seat of the car and the street is dappled with sun and shade. If you're me, you will obsessively touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth as you drive over the shady parts and take it off as you pass over the sunny parts. If you mess up, something horrible will happen.

5. Hair (be it human or animal) in food or on the soap has the potential to send me into a full on internal meltdown. Have I ever told you about my experience at Subway? Remind me and I will sometime. I still have a hard time eating there.


6. I truly fear germs. This is not an exaggeration. I fear them. No, I don't think you understand. I don't just dislike them. I don't just think they're icky. I fear them like Clarice Starling feared Hannibal Lechter.

7. Crumbs in the butter will unleash my inner beast. If I'm having company, I buy a seperate tub of butter or spoon some into a dish for people to use because one single, solitary crumb will send me over the edge to the point of no return.

8. This probably falls into the fear of germs category, but I cannot share food or drinks with someone. Anyone. I will not even drink after my husband. Sometimes taking the sacrament at church is difficult because I see the little kids who get the tray before me touching all the bread or dripping their water into the other cups. I also have a really hard time eating something prepared by someone I don't know or who's kitchen I've never seen.

9. I need symmetry. If you come into my house, you'll see that the decor is perfectly symmetrical. I know it's stylish to stagger the heights of your art work or to have mismatched items, but I mentally can't tolerate it.

10. I need neatness and order to function. You will usually find my house clean and orderly (unless you show up on laundry day, because then my couch will have mountains of clean laundry waiting to be folded). This isn't because I like to clean (despite what my husband seems to think). This isn't because I aspire to be housewife of the year. This is because my whole world literally falls apart when I'm surrounded by mess.

There. Now you can go about your day feeling relieved that you're nowhere near as crazy as Brandi.