Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Like Georgia, with less twang.

Kick-A chalkboard wall that made my kids think I'm cool.
What wasn't so cool was that I put on four coats of magnetic primer and yet it's not magnetic. At all.

Oh internets. I've missed you.

I made a rule for myself: No blogging/blog reading until the new house was completely done.

Yeah, totally stupid rule.

(I notice that none of you took a break from blogging. Even those of you who never write, wrote. It took me hours and hours to catch up today).

Anyway, I finished yesterday. Every room painted (every room) (but I didn't paint all of them myself. My friend painted four of them, which is good because I may have died if I'd had to paint all of them myself). Four light fixtures changed. Three light fixtures painted. All the drawer and cupboard hardware changed. Carpets cleaned. Flower bed weeded and re-mulched. Filthy, dirty kitchen cleaned and sanitized. Door installed and painted. Sexy new refrigerator bought. Curtains sewed. 8900 pounds of stuff unpacked. No really. 8900 pounds.

It's all done. Finally.

And I was going to write last night, but Will broke the internet.*

So, first of all, I totally live in the Central Time Zone now. I don't know why, but this completely disconcerts me.

Second of all, rural Tennessee/Kentucky isn't much different than rural Georgia. The accents are a little different. There are a lot of Amish communities in the area. There are way more good radio stations. Otherwise, it's pretty much the same.

Third of all, did I mention yet that this house kicked my butt? It did. But now that it's done I like it. I would say I love it, but I'm still bitter about how it acted like a little bitch when I was cleaning and painting and changing hardware on drawers where someone drilled the screw holes about a millimeter too far apart. And we won't talk about the popcorn ceilings that disintegrated whenever the paint brush got near it.

Want to see some pictures? Well, O.K., since you asked.

This is just the downstairs. I'll do the upstairs later because at the moment the kids' rooms are a mess and Will has our family room looking like a glorified computer lab. Plus they're all watching Peter Pan and would whine if I turned the light on.

The kitchen. It's tiny.
See that door? It didn't exist before we moved in.
The laundry room was totally open to the kitchen. Who builds a house like that?
I know--the same guy who decided carpet in dining rooms is a good idea.

Sexy new refrigerator that will be coming with us when we move.
I want to marry it.

The dining room. That light fixture was a tacky "early 90s uber-shiny brass" with even tackier lampshades on it that someone bedazzled. I burned the shades and painted the light a hammered bronze color.

The living room, looking from the dining room.

The living room, looking down from the stairs.

The back yard. The kids freaking love this.

O.K., so I promise I won't just disappear like that again. Unless I die or something, because clearly that would put a stop to my immoral, inane ramblings (Ooh, by the way? I totally got hate mail over the past few weeks. How can people get angry at me when I'm not even writing anything??? On the flip side, my little hiatus caused some people to go back and read my archives and I got some of the nicest non-hate mail ever. It all balances out, I guess).

Anyway, since it's not raining like it has every single evening since we got here, I'm going to take the opportunity to go explore my neighborhood. Which, by the way, all the streets in the subdivision are named after Kentucky Derby winning horses. So, I guess that's something else different from Georgia, where by law every street has to have the word peach in it.

* If you or any of your smarty-pants spouses knows anything about computer networks and security, speak up (Why yes, that IS what my husband does for a living, but here I am with broken internet anyway). Here's the deal: We got a new router. Every internet device in the house connects to it just freakin' fine except my laptop. My laptop only connects when we turn off all the security. No security = bad things like people stealing my passwords and using our internet to download lesbian porn and breaking into our bank account to steal the whole $24 that's left in it. So, if you can help, let me know.

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