Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Guest Post: She's not an insurgent, but she can probably milk a cow. Or goat. Or something.

Annie from Hard Labor Is Seriously Ruining My Manicure submitted this after she saw my request for guest posts. Sure, it borders on blog-whoring rather than being an actual guest post. However, I
do think she's funny, and I do like her blog, and frankly, I admire the cajones it takes to shamelessly get out there and plug one's own blog. Also, she said lots of nice things about me, and clearly flattery will get you everywhere. So, enjoy!

Dear Douglass Diary followers,

I am not an Al-Qaeda insurgent. Just so you know.

I am, however, a fellow member of The League of Funny Bitches which actually may be more dangerous. Because we might make you laugh to death.

I discovered Brandi through The League and I sort of fell in love with her blog and begged her to let me guest post some day. She put me through a fairly rigorous background check and physical fitness regimen before finally giving me the ok.

I was trying to figure out a way to shamelessly whore out my own blog while seamlessly tying it to Douglass Diaries when it became clear. Not only do Brandi and I both suffer from massive crotch massacres (I’m literally bleeding into an Ultraplus OB right now!) we have both been victims of people hating us while we were simply trying to get in shape.

While Brandi’s infamous incident at the Y pool was certainly more bizarre and misogynist than my own, I too have had my bouts with some nasty folks while working out. You can read about it here in all its ugliness: BITCHES AT THE GYM.

Looking back, I see that I was very angry when I wrote that post and sound sort of mean. I’m not, I just don’t like being ostracized by gym hos. Plus, I’m very sensitive and I don’t like it when people gang up on me.

Ok back to the bleeding. To all you fellow menstruators out there, I’d like to introduce you to the cutest tampons I’ve ever seen: CZECH IT OUT.

They are not super absorbent, nor are they really absorbent at all, but I was in Eastern Europe when I unexpectedly got a visit from the monthly crime scene in my pants and they didn’t have any other tampons for sale at the bodega or whatever they call it in Czech. Those little guys are undeniably cute even if you have to change them every two minutes (although I don’t know if red was the best choice for the flower color).

Well that’s all folks. I hope you can come by and enjoy my blog from time to time. It’s not as awesome as this one, but it’s funny sometimes (I think) and it has a fun fish out of water theme. Who doesn’t love that? Themes rule. Fish rule.

Yours, Citygirl Farmhand


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