Friday, August 19, 2011

Women of a certain age.

(I stole this picture from

You must visit them immediately.

I particularly love their whore-themed line of cards.)

So, today is my birthday. Or, the day Elvis was buried, as it's known in my family.

I've reached the point where it physically hurts to say how old I am, but let's just say I'm on the downhill slope toward my early seventies.

To celebrate, I skipped the gym and took a long nap after the kids left for school (as Amelia got on the bus I heard her happily exclaim, "It's my mom's birthday! She's 56!"). Then I bought myself a new book, wandered around the mall, and took myself out to a movie.

If you ever want to see the definition of lonely and pathetic, go to a romantic comedy in the middle of a weekday. There were six of us in the theater, all of us there alone. On the bright side, I didn't have to share my popcorn. Also, I'm pretty sure I still look younger than Julianne Moore. It's a tough call.

Later, I'm taking the kids out to dinner. I've overheard them secretly plotting together for three days about how they can tell the waiter it's my birthday so the whole waitstaff can sing to me. They don't really seem to care about the singing, but the promise of free dessert is a siren call they can't resist.

There's also a carnival going on across the road from my house. I may have convinced the kids that the whole carnival was in honor of my birthday. I mean, why else would they set up a carnival on some random empty lot within walking distance of our house on my birthday? Unfortunately, I didn't think it all the way through. If it's in my honor, I have to make an appearance. There's nothing like a few toothless carnies, the tilt-a-whirl and some fried dough to add a little excitement to your birthday, so maybe we'll stop by.

Then, once I've locked them in their rooms put them to bed, I'm going to spend the remainder of the evening with my sassy gay TV BFF Tim Gunn.

So, while it would be better to have my husband home, I have to say that today didn't suck.

(And thank you all for the Facebook birthday wishes. They really did brighten my day.)

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