Friday, September 23, 2011

One stop holiday shopping.

(Note: This post contains boobs. And very tiny penises. And Greek men doing I don't even want to know what. They're all statues, not actual people,
I wanted to warn you just in case.)

So, I'm kind of a catalog junkie. I love them. Home decor catalogs, especially. I'm addicted.

Yesterday one arrived that I'd never seen before. I flipped through a couple of pages and it was mostly things like suits of armor and custom chess sets. Not the typical Pottery Barn and Ikea stuff I usually get.

This morning I looked at the whole thing.

It was the most disturbing home decor catalog I've ever seen.

While it does have some beautiful antique replica furniture and cool, unique items (a couple of Ben's Christmas presents will be coming from this catalog, I think), mostly it was all just very bizarre.

You know, every throne needs to be guarded by a knight.

Speaking of thrones, why not drop $1900 on your very own?

And what's a castle without a little statuary, right?

What frightens me most about this is that it's a replica of a classic statue from 1550, sculpted by a student of Michelangelo. Is it just me, or do you ever wonder if sometimes the classical artists made some of their work as a joke? Like, maybe he just made this one to see what Michelangelo's reaction would be. Like a Renaissance version of Lolcats.

And then we have the modern interpretation of classic art.
I have a sudden urge to send this one to Mario Batali, except I bet he already has one.

Once you've finished the interior of your castle,
you'll want to adorn the grounds.
While on one side of the garden you can display a
lifesize sculpture of the holy family... can finish off the other side with Rachel.
While this picture may lead you to believe this is a small figurine, it is in fact a nearly 6 foot tall life size statue. In a thong.

I think it would be extra fun if you put this one directly below Rachel.

And then have this guy watching it all from afar. Because nothing completes a zombie eating a stripper scene quite like a voyeuristic Sasquatch.

Speaking of Sasquatch, I NEED this. Truly. This would make my whole year.
Not only do I collect Christmas ornaments, but growing up my parents often referred to me as Sasquatch (No, I don't have any issues. Why do you ask?). So really, there couldn't be a more perfect gift.

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