The only thing pets are good for.

Sometimes you hear stories about pets dialing 911 and saving their owners, or waking them when the house is on fire. Those are great stories, but they don't happen often enough to make it worth having a pet.

No, the only thing that makes a pet worth it is if you can dress them up like your favorite movie character and put the pictures on your blog.

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. No really. This woman is crazy. Who puts a wig on a cat?"

"I hear Vader approaching. Or maybe it's just those kids who never leave me alone. I don't know which is worse."

"Alright, I'm out of here. I'll see you later when I come to eat your face while you sleep."