Friday, October 7, 2011

Divine Secrets of the Minivan Sisterhood

Boring! Jazz hands would be so much more fun.

So, why is it that motorcyclists do that sort of low wave to each other when they pass another motorcyclist? That thing where they keep their hand down low and just kind of raise their fingers as they go by?

And who teaches them to do this? Is it part of the course when getting a motorcycle license?

And why is it just motorcyclists?

This needs to change immediately.

I think minivan driving moms need a thing like that.

Like motorcyclists, we have our own culture too. Ours may involve more stretchy pants and less leather, but it's a culture nonetheless.

When I pass another woman driving a minivan, I know a few things for certain. 1. She probably hasn't had enough sleep in at least a year. 2. That van has been vomited in at least once since she's owned it. And 3. At some point since getting that van she has dreamed about running away forever and starting a new life on a beach in South America with an oiled up boy-toy named Julio.

Those things bond us together, and we need a way to acknowledge that sisterhood when we encounter one another on the open road.

I propose Jazz Hands.

Think of how happy you'd be if you in your kid filled minivan passed me in my kid filled standard issue white Toyota Sienna and we gave each other Jazz Hands? Think of the joy we could spread!

We could totally change the world.

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