Monday, January 9, 2012

From bad to twisted.

So, I had high hopes for today. It was supposed to be the one-week mark until Will comes home.

Except that it wasn't.

I woke to an e-mail telling me that his replacement was delayed, therefore he would also be delayed. For five additional days.

I know those of you who have never been through a deployment are probably thinking, "It stinks, but really, Brandi, it's only five days. It's not like they added five months." And you would be half right. It is only five days. It could be so much worse. Back when the war in Iraq was in its early days, a friend of ours was deployed there for a year. He came home, and two days later they told him he immediately had to go back for three more months. So, I'm grateful that it's only five days.

BUT. When you're down to six or seven days and they suddenly double it on you, it feels like they added a year. Adding links to a countdown chain sucks. And while the replacements are hanging out on a beach on the Mediterranean while they wait for a working plane, Will gets to spend more time in a leaky, cold tent on the shore of a raw sewage lake, taking cold showers and using a porta potty because he's already been kicked out of his room.

So, needless to say, the day started out craptastically.

But then I ended up getting stuck in traffic for thirty miles behind a car that had a bumper sticker that said, "I will butt**** your soul." Except there were no asterisks, and it rhymes with truck. I was equal parts curious and scared.

When I got home I did a search to see if it came from a movie or something. Surely there had to be some reason someone had it on the back window of their PT Cruiser.

And that's how I discovered Action Figure Therapy.

You guys. Watch these.

There's A LOT (really, a lot) of language, so if you're the easily offended type, you should probably go read your scriptures instead. But for the rest of you, set aside an hour and watch them all. It took my day from depressed to hysterical laughter in four minutes flat.

The first one is the one that spawned the bumper sticker, and the second made me laugh so hard I may or may not have peed a little. There are tons of them, though, and they're all funny.

On a scale of one to ten, what's the blasphemy level for thinking God placed that profane bumper sticker in front of me for thirty miles just to brighten my day?

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