This one time, at band camp...

So, in case you missed it, I'm a band geek. I won't say "former band geek" because if there was a band I could join right now, I totally would.

I've played the flute since fourth grade. So, for 25 years. One would think I'd be pretty good by now, right? Yeah, not so much. This post is not an invitation for you to ask me to play. I'm still embarrassed about completely sucking when I played in church a few months ago.

Anyway, one of the few benefits of moving from normal, civilized life in Connecticut to the backwater known as Evanston, Wyoming is that the band in Evanston traveled. We went to contests that required many long bus rides and overnight hotel stays.

So, for those of you that were too cool for band, here's a small taste of what you missed out on. Just be warned--we band geeks can get pretty crazy. Especially when you put us on a bus and take us someplace totally wild, like Utah.

1. I once helped duct tape an oboe player to the carpet of her hotel room. And then we left her there. For hours.

2. We played a rousing game of "Will it burn?" in the back alley behind our hotel. Sugar doesn't burn. Hair styling products could get you arrested for arson.

3. After the discovery in #2, we went from window to window of the hotel spraying smiley faces on them with hair spray, then lighting them on fire.

4. Speaking of lighting things on fire, I saw all the male saxophone players come running out of their hotel room in a minor panic. Turns out they were lighting farts and one, umm, backfired.

5. Will (who was a french horn player) once fell asleep in the closet of my hotel room (I honestly can't remember why he was in there). We left him there half the night. And hid his shoes.

6. Band conductors do not like to get woken up at 1 am to be told by the hotel manager that some of his students are prank calling other guests. Repeatedly.

7. My friend and I didn't like one of the girls who was in our hotel room once, so after she fell asleep we stole all her underwear and threw them in the trash at the McDonald's across the street.

8. Band bus truth or dare.

9. Remember #7? We didn't throw all of them away. We saved one pair and hid them in the trumpet case of the boy she had a crush on.

10. We were jumping from bed to bed in the hotel, and one of the really tall girls hit her head on the ceiling and fell between the bed and the wall and got stuck. They had to come and un-bolt the bed from the floor so she could get out. Oh, and we were all wearing bras on our heads.

I hope you can forgive my wild ways and youthful indiscretions. I know, it'll be hard. I've settled down in my old age, though.

And just wait until someday when I tell you what the Academic Decathlon team did when we went to the state finals. If you thought band geeks were wild and crazy, you've apparently never known a team of nerds in the heat of a statewide nerd competition.

I feel sorry for the jocks and cheerleaders.

And you need to go watch THIS VIDEO (don't worry, it's just Sponge Bob. It's totally safe for work and children). It's every band geek's secret dream.

Camp Douglass

Oh Internets, how I've missed you. O.K., not really. I was too busy having fun to miss you.

This weekend I hosted Camp Douglass at my house. Two other families that we're friends with wanted us to all get together and do something for the long weekend. We talked about going camping, but hello! I don't camp. I don't even like to pee in public restrooms and you want me to use the woods, or worse yet, a campground bathroom? You don't know me at all. Plus, there's all the work involved in camping. It's like a week of preparation for three days. Oh, and I have no camping gear.

Anyway, after some discussion we decided that what we really wanted to do was hang out together the whole weekend without having to worry about going home to put kids to bed and giving them baths and all that. We wanted to play games until the wee small hours of the morning without worrying about falling asleep on the drive home.

So, the idea for Camp Douglass was born. The two families (The Bastians and the Pynes) came to our house on Friday morning and stayed until Monday evening. Combined, we have nine kids, so the other families brought their tents and set them up in the back yard for the kids and the adults camped out on air mattresses in the kids' bedrooms (except for me because I was not giving up my bedroom).

Each family was assigned a day, and they were responsible for providing and preparing the food for every meal that day. We had lots of really good food that I shouldn't eat but did anyway. It's probably the first time my kids have been offered anything but cold cereal for breakfast in years.

For the vast majority of the weekend, the adults played Settlers of Catan (I know, we're all such Utah Mormons) and the kids played and fought and played and screamed and played and got my house dirtier than it ever has been before. This is a testament to how enjoyable this weekend was--I don't even care that much that it took me more than three hours to get the house clean after everyone left. I was able to keep my OCD tendencies at bay because I was having that much fun.

As usual, I didn't take pictures, but Tina took 867,000. So, hop on over to her blog too see all the fun and chaos. Just don't look at me. In most of them, I hadn't showered and I look kind of gross.

House Guest Haiku Volume II

Scream and yell and cry
Up too late, awake too soon
Too many children


Anyone have clay?
Build a road, build a city
Settlers is awesome!


I will close my eyes
And pretend I cannot see
Messy, crowded house


Feeding six adults
And nine rambunctious children
Takes a lot of food

Lunchtime Poll Topic #10

Let's get right to it:

Which is hotter--size 28 stretch pants or size 6 jeans?

110 pounds lost, 11 sizes smaller.

O.K, so that's not really the LTPT today. I was just so excited that I wedged my butt into size 6 jeans that I couldn't wait to show you.

Here's the real LTPT:

Boys or Girls: Which do you think is easier to raise and why?

You don't have to have experience raising either to answer. You can tell us which you think would be easier and why.

Personally, I think girls are easier until puberty sets in, and then boys are suddenly easier. But maybe that's just because I didn't grow up around boys. Whatever the reason, I stand by my assertion that girls are easier for the first 11 years. Amelia is by far easier than either of the boys.

So, how about you? Team pink or team blue?

Thursday Morning Confessions

This picture has nothing to to with the post. I just thought it was really funny.

1. Georgia has sissified me. Our high temperatures this week have been around 82 (F). I've been wearing sweaters and pants because it's chilly.

2. I've gained two pounds but have somehow lost two pants sizes this month (I now wear size 8 jeans, and I bought some yoga pants from Old Navy and they're size 4/6!! Yeah, yeah, they're stretchy and have a drawstring waist. Don't. Even. Care. They're size 4/6).

3. I will not be keeping my children home from school on September 8th. Regardless of what I believe politically, I really don't think Obama's address to school age children that day will brainwash them. If he can manage to undo in 30 minutes on TV what you've done as a parent over the course of your child's entire life, then that's really more a reflection on you as a parent and not the fault of the big bad socialist brainwashing president.

4. The Duggars are pregnant with number 19. You already know how I feel about that family. On the bright side, at least they're not on welfare.




5. I'm actually writing this post Wednesday night because I won't have time tomorrow. Which is actually today for those of you reading this.

6. I really, really need some chocolate right now. A lot. Which is weird because I'm not normally a sweets kind of person. But today I need chocolate and I don't have any.

7. We found out that Liam will need his next open heart surgery next summer and I'm already freaking out over it. First, how do you mentally prepare a 5 year old for open heart surgery? How do you deal with a 5 year old who just had open heart surgery? And we'll be moving pretty much exactly when he needs to have it, so that sucks in and of itself.

8. There is light at the end of the potty training tunnel. Amelia peed and pooped on the toilet today. Of course she did both in her pull up, too, but I'm just elated that she used the toilet even once. She will be four in a few days, people. I thought she'd have been out of pull ups long ago.

9. Will swore up and down that raising a girl was going to be so much harder than raising boys. I said that until they're about 11, girls are easier and from then on it switches and boys are easier. I'm totally winning this argument this week. Totally and completely.

10. I'm having an adult sleepover this weekend. Three nights, four days, six adults. I'll let you and your imaginations fill in the details. I'm sure whatever you come up with will be far more interesting than what the reality is.

Heavenly Father says...

So, Liam and Amelia have been running around acting like little evangelists this week. They have discovered that we put a lot of stock into the things that "Heavenly Father says," so they try to use it to their advantage.

Amelia, when she wanted a doll at the store and I said no: "But Heavenly Father wants us to be mommies!"

Amelia, when Liam wouldn't let her play in his room: "But Heavenly Father says we need to share everything!"

Liam, when he was being punished for fighting: (Screamed through hysterical tears) "Heavenly Father is going to be so mad at you! He says you have to love me!"

Liam, who was asking for money so he could buy a $40 Clone Trooper gun and was upset when I said no: "But Heavenly Father wants us to pay tithing. If you give me the money I can pay tithing."

Amelia, out of the blue: "Heavenly Father says you should buy me a pink fish."

Amelia, to a complete stranger who accidentally bumped me in Kroger (and who did say excuse me): "Heavenly Father says you should say sorry!"

Amelia, 5 minutes ago, alone in her room, talking to her Little People: "Heavenly Father says I look so beautiful in pink dresses and I have so beautiful hair!"

Funny that when I try this trick, like when they're fighting and I remind them that Heavenly Father says they should be kind, it never seems to work.

Project Runway is back!

So, I have apparently been living under a complete rock lately. First I forget my blogiversary, then I forget that Project Runway is finally back on after very long hiatus and a network switch.

Will had to work a 24 hour shift yesterday, so I took advantage of the alone time to glue myself to the computer (like that's anything new) and watch the first two episodes that have aired.

I was afraid that maybe it would be different now that it's on Lifetime instead of Bravo and is in LA rather than NYC. But it's still my same old Project Runway that I love.

First, I was so happy to see Tim Gunn again that I nearly cried. I absolutely love Tim Gunn. Not in any kind of romantic or lusty way--I just adore him as a human being. I think the world would be a better place and anti-depressants would no longer be needed if everyone had their own personal Tim Gunn to guide them and support them. But did anyone else notice that his hair was looking a little stringy and yellow? If it was anyone else I wouldn't care, but Tim Gunn is the epitome of refined and dapper. I missed his perfectly distinguished silver-white hair.

TIMMAY!

Second, I'm really glad they booted the freaks in the first two episodes. They seemed nice enough, but their designs were horrible. An eggy sling-like shirt? A silver lame' soccerball-like...thing (sorry, I don't even know what to call it)? Auf wiedersehen and good riddance!

And was anyone else disturbed by the fact that Lindsay Lohan looked old and haggard? She looked like an aging crack addict. Wait, I guess that makes sense. But seriously, she looked older than Heidi, who is nearly twice her age! Sad, really. And I have to wonder if she voted to boot off Ari (the silver soccerball...thing designer) simply because she looked exactly like her ex, Samantha Ronson. I wonder if Lindsay would have hated her even if her dress had been amazing. Because really, the resemblance was uncanny. Talk about awkward!

Apparently I'm not the only one who thought this.

Anyway, I'm going to predict that Louise, Shirin, Althea, Irina and Gordana will be the top 5. That's right, an all-girl top 5. Christopher has a shot as well, but I'm going with the ladies.