Thursday, December 1, 2011

Pubic Service Announcement

Ladies and gentleman, there is a fashion trend spreading across our great nation. Spreading like a disease. A venereal disease.

The knitted cowl.

My first encounter with one of these occurred about a year ago when a friend made this and posted it on her blog:

What does that look like to you?
Here, maybe this will make it a bit more clear.

Ladies (and gay men), there is no way to wear these without looking like you're dressed as genitalia for a costume party. It's got to stop. While you may only see warm and cozy neckwear, the rest of us are seeing your head sticking out of a yarn cootchie.

She's crowning! It's a girl!

There are creams for that.
(This came from yet another blogger I enjoy. She made it for her mom.
Bloggers don't let bloggers give their moms knitted labia.)

Elderly and well used.

Zombie hoo-ha.

Maybe right now you're thinking, "Well, I can just wear it differently. Or make one that's not so...gaping." You would be wrong. It's not just lady bits you run the risk of resembling. Oh no. You also run the risk of looking like this:

Obviously not Jewish.

Genital warts are the leading cause of cervical cancer.

Please, internets. Spread the word. Let's stop this before it goes any further. Think of the children.

(The title was actually a typo, but it was so fitting I left it.)

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