Sunday, December 12, 2010

Same old argument.

So, a friend sent me a transcript of a conversation she had on Facebook. It raises the same argument that women have been having for nearly 40 years now: Which is harder--having a career outside the home, or being a full time homemaker? Is being a homemaker the same as having a "real" job?

Here's the conversation (printed exactly as it was on Facebook, so don't get all up in my junk about spelling and grammar errors.):

Susan High-ho, high-ho, it's off to work I go.....(does it count even if I don't leave the house?)


Yes, it does! Being a mom is the hardest job on earth! I don't care what ANYONE else says. :)


I agree! ;) Being a mom you wear SO many hats - your to-do list is never empty!


If you have really been out in the work force you would not think that- try answering to a lot of people and having to do things their way, back stabbers, unfair bosses, mean busy- body co-workers, just the daily grind! Studies show people that work are more stressed with more stressed related health problems than anyone else!


Still, I'd like to see any of them handle a two year old, a one year old and two newborns - all four in diapers - single handed - with no help except a husband after regular business hours. Oh, and this is with a c-section! :D It was rougher than any work experience I've ever had or known of! LOL (and I was in a job where I got hives daily from the stress, previously!)


Noted! I guess everyone has their own personal he..!


WOW! I don't think this is my personal hell! I love my 'job'. I *choose* to stay home with my children and provide for them. It has it's rough spots, but it's certainly not something I would give up or change! I guess what I really want to point out, is that unless you've seen both sides of the fence - working out of the home in the workforce, and working IN the home - providing for a growing family of children, you can't sit and judge. I don't think being a mother is any less difficult than many jobs out in the workforce. And I certainly don't value it any less!


I say it still counts!


Susan! couldn't agree more

Kellye (sister of Claudia)

I can tell you that having a CAREER, not a JOB, and supporting yourself is very difficult, but very rewarding. I know I don't have to depend on someone else to give me money and that's important to me. Also, there is education that must be obtained and just getting up everyday and answering to so many people is very stressful. You can't get fired at home, you can at work. We all choose what we want in life. I know changing diapers all day would not be my scene, but I have it to hand to those who want to.


Kellye, while I understand your coming to your sister's defense - neither of you have an understanding of caring for children 24/7. Yes, it's difficult and rewarding. A career is "A chosen pursuit, The general course or progression of one's working life, A path or course, as of the sun through the heavens." I believe Motherhood is my chosen CAREER. Yes, my husband and I agreed that he would be financially responsible for our family, and I would take care of things at home - this calls for many compromises and sacrifices that allow us to give the best possible home for our children. He doesn't "give me money". We share one income - I work for it, too, just in a different capacity.

Yes, mothers need to be educated in many areas - perhaps more than some areas required for a specific career or job. Answering to so many young children and a husband is stressful. I never get a day off. I don't get paid vacation - I work on our vacation days. I never get a sick day. I'm always a mother. And, I want to add - yes, I can get fired - it's called Divorce (being fired as a wife) and the potential to lose my children if they are not cared for properly.

We do choose what we want in life. I agree. I worked long and hard and endured many heartbreaking years trying to have a family. I am not bitter about the choices I made. I know after my retirement (when all my children move out), I will still have my coworkers (family) checking in, caring about what is going on in my life. I love working with my family. This is the best career I could wish for!

I'm glad you realize changing diapers isn't your scene - that's probably a good thing to know. No one *wants* to change diapers - but we choose to take on the unpleasurable aspects of the job because of the great rewards we reap as mothers. What a divine calling!


You are a mom 24/7 you can't call in sick like a reg job you can't qiut no matter how bad you would like 2. STRESS we invented the word Education well we did have jobs before and some are going back to school and staying at home. It is a blessing to be able to raise your own kids rather than PAY some stranger to raise them. Our career is a job just unpaid satisfaction knowing you are rasing your kids the best you can and Yes it does get crazy but it is our own crazy. I have been in the military and worked as a surgical tech and thoght that difficult at times but being a mom has yet to be the hardest I have done and will be my greastes accomplishment


I'm not coming to anyone's defense - certainly not my sister's because her views don't need defending! Also, I would've written first - she just happened to comment before I did! Obviously we aren't going to agree and that's fine. We all have our own sets of values and things that we think are important. Some people think education, higher learning and a successful career is important, some don't, but that's ok too. I think it all depends on what we were taught as children. I just know from personal experience that women have to know how to support themselves and their children. Marriages don't always last - men leave and they die. Life isn't always rosy. Glad you're so happy!


Oh life aint always easy and if my husband did pass i would be able to get a job and support my family and duh that's whats life insurance is for 2!!!


I apologize for thinking you came to her defense. I stand corrected. :)

I really don't understand why I was attacked for making such an innocuous statement! This has really been blown out of proportion!

Yes - we all have our own sets of values and I feel secure that I am putting the correct priorities at the front of my life. Since a youth, I've wanted to be a mother - and worked hard to accomplish that goal! It's ok if these same priorities aren't the same for you - I can agree to disagree, but I still think I'm doing what the Lord would want me to do.

Most married women and mothers that I know aren't oblivious and uneducated. They know things happen. We've all seen it happen to friends and acquaintances. We know to be prepared. I'm educated, and feel sure I could obtain a job to pay the bills should something happen to my husband's job, or to his life, or our marriage. One of the ways we have prepared is, as the previous poster said, through life insurance. We are covered for our family's needs to allow us to do what is necessary to become self sufficient. We sacrifice now to pay that bill to assure us of assistance should the unhappy need arise.

I hope that we can let this issue rest. I never posted anything negative towards working women, and don't appreciate being told I don't work, or have a job or career, or however someone wants to say it. I never posted the original status to start a controversy! I work hard. I know that, and any other mother can also attest to working hard!

I know the Lord knows where my heart lies, my husband and children are loved, and I am blessed! I hope everyone has a great day!


wow, I wonder if every woman who is a mother posted this as her status, would they get the same responses. I'll be posting it. . .


Oh - that's right, insurance, how silly of me! That must be why women never have a hard time supporting their children, and why they never go on welfare, live in poverty, etc. It was all my years seeing this as a social worker that fooled me!!


Kellye - I'm not saying ALL women are prepared, I'm saying that WE are prepared. We are following what the Prophet would want us to do. Please don't put us down for it.


So, where do you guys stand?

I'm somewhere in the middle. I hated working with a passion, and maybe that's because I wasn't in a rewarding career that I enjoyed. I was glad to quit once we had Ben. On the other hand, there are days that I hate being home. I get lonely. I miss having interaction with other adults. My kids are as annoying as any obnoxious co-worker. So, I don't know. I do like being able to nap when I want. And no one is going to fire me if I decide to read blogs all day instead of cleaning bathrooms.

Basically, this is my approach to work:

But anyway, I don't see it as something to fight about. We all make our choices, and we all live with them. As they say, the grass is always greener...

One thing I know for sure--I think the hardest job is having to work outside the home and also run a home and care for children. I don't think anyone can argue with that.

Anyway, I thought the whole exchange was interesting. (And fun trivia fact: Kellye and Claudia unfriended Susan that evening. Even better fun trivia fact: At the time of this conversation, Claudia was Susan's Relief Society President. For those who don't know what that is, Claudia was charged with the spiritual and temporal welfare of all the women in her church congregation. Regardless of one's opinions on the topic of working mothers, I think we can all agree that Claudia's approach was less than Christian.)

So, what do you think, internets? Is there a right or wrong here?

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