There goes my frakkin' book deal.

So, a friend alerted me to this article in the Salt Lake Tribune yesterday.

For those who don't want to click on it, here's the gist.

A Mormon author has written a series of Young Adult novels called The Scorch Trials. I've never read them, but I've been told they're kind of like a Mormon version of The Hunger Games (minus the excellent writing).

Deseret Book, which is the Mormon version of Barnes and Noble (minus the Erotica section), has decided not to carry the book in its stores. Here's why:

“This latest book from James Dashner contains language some of our customers would find offensive, as this book is targeted to teenagers,” said Gail Halladay, managing director of marketing at Deseret Book. “We must be careful with all the books we bring in, and we look very closely at the language in the books we carry.”

The offensive language in question?

The Scorch Trials, the story of teenagers trekking across a dystopian landscape populated by “Cranks,” includes words such as “damn” and “this sucks,” as well as the phrase “shuck it.”

I just...I can't...I'm speechless. Really, this is a level of ridiculousness I haven't seen in a while.

I just have one question, since I know many of you reading this are Mormons yourselves. What's the difference between shuck and fetch? Or flip? Or frick? Or any of the other Utah versions of that word?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Shuck that dang crap. It sucks.