Monday, April 4, 2011

The wind began to switch, the house began to pitch.

So, I was going to post something earlier today. I don't know what, but something.
Instead, I spent much of the day on a chair in my half bathroom praying I wouldn't die.

You see, in addition to filth, heights and spiders, I'm terrified of deadly weather events. And today was one long tornado warning.

Most people around here shrug it off because it happens so regularly. They don't worry unless they can actually see the funnel cloud closing in on them. Others even enjoy the extreme weather. While I love a good thunderstorm or blizzard, things like tornadoes and hurricanes scare me. You can't curl up on the couch and enjoy a tornado. There's no "tornado sound" setting on your white noise machine. You have radio people urgently telling you to seek shelter immediately and tornado sirens blaring outside your house and the knowledge that your kids are crouched in a hallway at school with their arms over their heads. To me, there's nothing to enjoy about that.

In Georgia, we narrowly missed being directly hit by a tornado. The sirens went off in the middle of the night, and within seconds we heard what sounded like a train directly outside our bedroom window and the house shook violently. Even if we'd had a safe room in that house, we had no time to get to it. Less than two minutes later it was over. The next day we went outside and saw a trail of destruction just feet from our house. A tree had fallen and severed a mobile home in half, other trees had taken out roofs. The roads in our neighborhood were impassable because of debris. It looked like the apocalypse had happened. That's when I decided tornadoes were going right on the top of my list of fears.

I'm pretty sure today's storm was sentient. And evil. The three major things damaged in our area? The national weather service radio tower (so, everyone with weather radios were out of luck), and two 911 centers. In different counties! What are the odds that some of the most important things in a tornado would be the only three things taken out? It's like the storm went all Jaws 4 on us. This time it was personal.

Anyway, those of you who follow me on Facebook got to witness the stages of my freak out first hand as I sat, panicked, in the bathroom. I know, It was kind of pathetic. Especially in retrospect. We didn't even lose power.

But there it is. Now you know. I'm a sissy when it comes to deadly weather.

Also, I think I need a couch in that bathroom.

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