Monday, May 10, 2010

Thoughts of a madwoman.

So, I'm on Day Six of my confinement. I'm sick of TV. I'm sick of books. I'm even sick of Netflix streaming on the Wii (which is pretty awesome otherwise). I even taught Amelia how to do laundry nearly on her own today just for something to do (and because I needed clean pajamas and Will just hasn't been very reliable on the laundry front).

Anyway. Here are the things that have been running through my brain as I lay on the couch.

"I wonder if any of Dr. Lopez's other patients laugh when they look at their Percocet bottle and see that it was prescribed by J. Lopez?"

"Where's the remote? Andrew Zimmern [of the Travel Channel's Bizarre Foods] is about to have another foodgasm over goat testicles." (Seriously, have you ever watched him? No matter what he eats, he moans and groans and nods his head wildly with pleasure as his eyes roll back into head. With Every. Single. Bite. And it's usually something involving brains or scrotum.)

"Is my waist normal yet? Please let my waist be normal." (Yesterday I noticed that one side of my waist is nice and tiny, swooping in deeply between my hips and ribs. The other side, not so much. I'm hoping that's not permanent or I'll be a freak.)

"Did my incision just bust open?" (Thought about 500 times a day.)

"Genevieve Gorder hasn't aged one bit in 10 years."

"Really, you're putting carpet in your bathroom?"

"Stop crying, Ty Pennington."

"Really, 5 more weeks of this binder?"

"I'm hot/cold/sore/tired/bored."

"I wonder if I have any new e-mail?"

"They're just jealous." (Thought today when watching people knock plastic surgery on Plastic Surgery Obsession on VH1.)

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