Get on the boat!!!

So, internets, the jig is up. I know you've all been secretly dreaming of hanging out with me on a four day Caribbean cruise. No, no--don't try to deny it. It's O.K., don't be embarrassed. It's only natural that you'd fantasize about lounging poolside with me while we make fun of passersby.

But now it's time to make that dream a reality.

Join me (and O.K., Aunt Becky and lots of other bloggers/blog readers/awesome people who have no idea who I am/awesome people who don't even know what a blog is) on a four day cruise to the Bahamas. The cruise leaves March 7th at 4:30 out of Port Canaveral, Florida (Orlando). The cost is $381.34 per person (double occupancy) for an interior room. It's a hundred or so more for an ocean view. You have to pay a deposit of $200 per cabin (which is $100 per person) and then the rest is due by December 1st. You can set up a payment plan, which is pretty awesome. And you can bring your friends and/or families along too if you want. (I'm NOT bringing my kids. I'm using this to escape my kids. But you're welcome to bring yours.) And as Aunt Becky put it, "If you have a vagina, you can come. If you have a penis, you can come. Frankly, if you have both, you can come." So, don't get the idea that all this awesomeness is for the ladies only.

I wasn't cool enough to think of this. It had absolutely nothing to do with me. Aunt Becky came up with this brilliant plan as a cross between a floating blogging conference and a way to get to know her blog readers, and her blog readers' blog readers. And all their friends. And their families. And pretty much anyone on the planet who wants to have an awesome four days. And don't let the term "blogging conference" scare you off. Really, it's just a title to make this floating party sound legit. You won't be forced to sit through workshops or anything.

But what's important to you is that I'm going to be there! You can experience my social awkwardness in person! Anyway, please come. Please? (Unless you're a murdering lunatic, in which case please stay home). Go HERE for all the details (Which cruise line, which ship...all that jazz), and who to contact for booking.

And if you for real decide to come (which I know you will), send me an e-mail!

Umm...I really want to end this by saying "All aboard!" but that would just be too cheesy, even for me.

P.S. If you come, I'll totally show you my tummy tuck scars in person. But only if you want to see them, of course.