Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Like Swatches, for the middle aged suburbanite.

Remember Swatches? They were really popular in the late eighties, and kind of pricey (for a rubber watch), and the more popular you were, the more you owned--and wore all at once.

I only had one, which should come as a surprise to no one.

Last night I realized what the grown up, nearing middle age, living in the suburbs, raising a family equivalent has become.

These suckers:

As I walked around my neighborhood last night, it occurred to me that approximately 99.99% of the houses in my neighborhood had them. Many, many of them. One of the houses near me has 47 of them in their front yard. FORTY-SEVEN! This is not a sprawling estate. This is a 2300 square foot home on three quarters of an acre, just like all the houses in the neighborhood.

(Not my neighbors. This looks tame and classy compared to the 47 solar light house)

Having 47 of these in your yard looks just about as ridiculous as wearing five Swatches up your arm. But the difference is, no one thinks you're cooler for having more solar lights in your yard than necessary. Also? Colored ones and flashing ones do not elevate your social status in any way, shape or form.

Six. Six is the limit. If you have more than six, I suggest you seek intervention immediately.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I have four. And they came with the house. And only one actually works. So, it's like Swatches all over again.)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Be nice or I'll punch you in the taco.