Monday, November 15, 2010

This makes it worth all the trouble.

So, remember a couple of years ago when I wrote about sex and a bunch of people got their puritanical panties in a wad over it? Well, this e-mail that I received a few days ago makes all the harassment and being called inappropriate totally worth it.

(And if you missed those posts, read this one first, and then this one.)

If you were one of the contributors to those posts, then this letter is really more for you than me.


I just discovered your blog a couple of months ago. When I get bored, I go through your archives and read your old stuff. A few weeks ago I found your
post with sex advice, and the companion post from the men.

I've been married for 8 years. Certain things had never happened for me, if you know what I mean. No one ever taught me about sex. No one ever taught my husband about sex. All we knew was that sex was for marriage only. Sex is where babies come from. That's it. Somewhere in the back of our minds was the idea that men enjoyed it and wanted it all the time, and women tolerated it. And that's exactly what I did--tolerated it.

Your post was a real eye opener. I wish so much that I knew more Mormons like the ones you know. I wish I had friends who were willing to talk about these things. I was so miserable thinking that this was it for ETERNITY. If I had just known. Just simple things. Simple things like telling your partner what feels good. It's so simple, and I just never knew! Why can't we have Relief Society meetings about this? I don't mean on Sunday, but for Enrichment or something. I can't be the only one who knows NOTHING.

And you know what was most profound? The idea that I can talk to God about sex in my prayers. It makes sense. He is supposed to be the third person in every marriage. But no one ever said that was O.K. It's so ingrained in most of us that talking about it is bad that the idea of talking about it with God seems really, really bad. But it's so not.

Anyway, I've tried a few things that people suggested in your posts over the past couple of weeks. Just baby steps. But oh man, have they ever worked! I hope this doesn't sound too dramatic, but it's been life changing! Or at the very least, marriage changing. In a good way!

So, I really want to thank everyone who offered advice in the posts. Can you send this to them? Or post this? I want them to know that it really made a difference. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

[Name withheld by request]

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