Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Apologies, pee and my bad hair cut

Today has been one of those days, and I still have several hours to go.

I have some apologies to make, because when I have one of those days, it tends to spill over onto other people.

I'm sorry for making Sarah and the kids late for story time, especially since she was doing me a favor.

I'm sorry, Miss Pedestrian at the cross walk, that I failed to stop for you because I didn't see you waiting until it was too late.

I'm sorry for seriously considering keying the green van taking up two parking spaces at the hospital.

I'm sorry, commissary patrons in line behind me, for having 22 items in the express lane.

I'm sorry for all the obscenities I thought when the guy in front of me sat through an entire green light despite honks from myself and others.

I'm sorry, Ft. Gordon security guards, for wishing you'd die first in a terrorist attack simply because you made me get a full vehicle inspection, including making my 3 year old get out and stand in the rain, when I was already running late.

I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest.

So, on to pee. I meant to post this the other day but other things came up and I got distracted. Let me start by warning you that I'm going to say erection. I know some of you will tense up and turn red and feel dirty because I'm going to say it. You'll get over it.

Anyway, Liam woke up Thursday morning with an erection (see, the world didn't end--besides, we're talking about a 4 year old--for him it's just the body making sure the hydraulic lift still works). He tried to pee before it went away and the pee hit him in the face. He was not nearly as amused as I was.

Finally, my bad hair. As I've mentioned before, back in June I got the worst haircut of my life. I'm not exaggerating. I even went to a different salon to see if they could fix it. The stylist did her best, but she said the original cut was so bad that there wasn't much left to work with. Then I paid her $40 and went home and cried.

Well, now it's growing out. My bangs have reached the point where they're too short to tuck behind my ear and too long to wear as actual bangs. And because it's humid here and my hair is curly, they make a big swooping curl across my forehead.

I looked in the mirror today and realized I look like Hermie the gay dentist elf. (What? You know he is. I heard he's dating Lance Bass).

That's exactly what my hair looks like now. Great. I'm an overweight gay elf.


  1. LOL Brandi you crack me up. YOu must be feeling better after that post Giggles. Yes too funny!!!

    I'm so sorry you had such a bad day. Thank Heaven it's almost over hu????


  2. You crack me up! Whenever I need a good laugh, I'm comin' over to your explicit (did you just say that?), entirely hilarious blog.


    And you can't possibly look like Hermie...he had blond hair. ;)

  3. Okay, first of all you don't need to apologize for today. The look on your face when you arrived said it all. We all have those days and we weren't even late for story time. And even if we had been late, big deal! I mean, it's only story time Brandi! :) You are so funny and no your hair does not look bad at all. You do not look like a gay dentist elf. I am happy to help you anytime. Oh, and thanks for the kitty info.

  4. LOL! Brandi you are too funny! Your blog is so definitely my favorite!! :)
    Poor Liam...although I am still laughing!

  5. So funny Brandi! I know what you mean about the vehicle inspections! When we first moved here we had to do an inspection. All three of my kids with me in the minivan, and some of the kids were asleep...but that doesn't matter! Haul them all out and stand in the hot, sweltering sun and wait while they check to see if this mother of three young children in a minivan is hiding something that some conspicuous person could sneak in easily with a fake ID!
    Anyways, I'm glad you got all that off your chest and we could all have a nice laugh! Thanks!

  6. I know the look. The wavy too long bangs. Why do you think I keep my hair so short? That's exactly what my bangs do when I have long hair. I hate it.

    I love your links to other blogs. I especially like the last one, I think. You know, the ranting one about stupidity?

    I can't get enough of your blog. It's great!!

  7. Aw, sorry it's been rough.

    hehehe, boys. I know nothing about them. :)

    As for vehicle inspections, I'm sure people were NOT happy with me when I visited you. The line was fairly long. I knew the drill, but I didn't really know it involved popping the hood which I've never done and had no idea really how to do. I kind of kept pressing buttons. Then, it popped, but I couldn't get the latch (and didn't want to get dirty). The guy wasn't supposed to help me, but he didn't want to be there all day so he kind of just opened it himself. I know... I'm an embarrassment to women everywhere.

    As for the hair, it'll grow at least. It's just hair. I'm pretty positive you don't look like that extremely annoying, whiny elf though. Man, I'm like the only person who can't stand that cartoon.

  8. I think I need a one-on-one discussion with you about boys... and you always look beautiful. I don't buy it for an instant that you look like Hermie! And who the heck is Hermie anyway? And did you just look for hours for him? You did make me laugh today. We need to talk more.

  9. Ok...I'm still laughing! I love Hermie! Any reference to Rudolph is fine by me.
    What a crap day, though. Blah. I hope you've hit the point where you can look back and laugh or at least find comfort in knowing that all us gals have dropped an inch around the waist just by laughing out loud to your posts. :) Miss you!!!!


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