Tuesday, March 22, 2011

On the first day of Vegas my true love gave to me...

...A pair of shiny, glittery whore shoes!

So, in the interest of full disclosure, I've had about three hours sleep in the past 48-ish hours, so I'm not really that coherent right now. I'd love to say that it was because I was gambling or drunk pole dancing in some den of iniquity until the wee hours, but really it's just because we've stayed up way too late talking.

Sunday night I arrived and met three of my friends. We stayed at the gayest hotel ever (not a bad thing, by the way) and thought we'd be experiencing a huge gay spring break bash. Except that we were pretty much the only people in the hotel. Despite the hotel calendar's claim that it was the kick off bash for gay spring break that night, the gayest spring breakers there were the four of us.

Around midnight we decided it would be the perfect time to go get some dinner. The restaurant in our hotel was closed, so we wandered across the street to the Hard Rock Hotel. Now, I'm a pretty liberal person. I'm not fazed by much. But I'll admit that I was a little taken aback by the debauchery going on in that hotel. And I totally saw my first pole dancer. Also, at the table next to us was what I'm pretty sure were a group of porn stars. One of them wearing handcuffs. There may have been some straddling taking place, too. I just ate my potstickers and stared.

Monday three more of our contingent arrived and we moved into the rental house. And because we're all badass, we spent the day shopping at Costco, eating at Cafe Rio and making knitting needle run to Michael's.

Last night we went to the strip and walked around for awhile. I won fifteen cents on penny slots. And not just any penny slots--Star Wars penny slots. We ate gelato at The Venetian and then took a stretch limo back to the parking garage at The Bellagio where our cars were . We're rock stars like that.

Tonight the final three ladies arrive, and we'll be off to Drag Queen Bingo. And when I checked my e-mail this morning there was a Groupon offer to take a pole dancing class for $20. I am THERE. I'll even get a souvenir Las Vegas Stripper license.

What good are stripper heels if I can't also work the pole?

Merry Christmas, Will!

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