Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Ranting and randomness and a super fabulous giveaway!

I need to rant for a minute. Or three. Or twelve.

I've gotten seven e-mail forwards this week that were completely false, fictional, inaccurate hoaxes. They annoy me. They make me want to poke people in the eye with a fork. Mostly, though, they make me do things like click "reply all" with a link to the Snopes article debunking the whole thing, making the sender look like a moron to all their friends. I have no mercy. Thirty seconds of research before you forward it to your entire address book will save you a lifetime (or at least a couple of minutes) of humiliation if I happen to be in that address book.

These forwards come in two varieties: The Warning and The Petition.

I have more tolerance for The Warnings. I know that when my friend sends me a forward about asbestos in my tampons, she only has the safety and well being of my vagina in mind.

It's The Petitions that really get my knickers in a twist. These, too, are sent with good intentions, but sometimes even good intentions have negative consequences.

One of the petitions for a false cause I received this week encouraged people to contact their congressman about the issue. The totally made up, non existent issue. Some poor schlump at the congressman's office has to deal with those e-mails, letters and phone calls.

The ones that really chap my hide are people protesting something they know nothing about. Back when the TV shows Wife Swap and Trading Spouses were about to come out I received a nonstop stream of petitions to keep them from airing. They would destroy the family! They were dirty! They were evil! They MUST NOT AIR!!!! Basically, a bunch of people got into a tizzy based simply on the title of the shows and practically got these shows canceled. As if network TV would air shows about swingers. Showtime, maybe, but not the networks.

Another similar case was when the show Big Love was getting ready to air. My fellow church members went nuts! AND THEY HAD NEVER SEEN AN EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what gets me--not that people are against something, but that they know nothing about what they are against. I've watched 2 seasons of Big Love. I can not and will not recommend it because of the amount of sex. But as for the claim that it would cause people to continue to think all Mormons are polygamists, or that it would portray us negatively, that couldn't be farther from the truth. There is no confusing the LDS church with the polygamist groups in the show. They make the distinction perfectly clear, and some characters even struggle with the fact that they are not mainstream LDS. Anyone who had seen an episode would feel silly about their protest.

Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent...

Anyway, bottom line: before you hit that forward button or ask for my signature, you better be darned sure you know what you're talking about. I have a low threshold for stupidity.

I feel better now. Cleansed...

Speaking of stupidity, Stephanie--this is for you:
Wait, that came out wrong. I don't mean Stephanie is stupid. I meant that the show is...oh, never mind. Just watch the clip. (Except for you, Lydia).

And now for a super fabulous giveaway!
You could be the lucky recipient of a handmade by yours truly Christmas ornament.

All you have to do is tell me about the most ridiculous forward you've received. The best one (according to me) wins. I'll judge Thursday night, midnight Eastern time. I guess technically that would be Friday morning. Whatever...
The winner can choose the color and/or pattern.

P.S. I hope those of you sent the forwards I'm referring to aren't too offended. If you are, tough. You should have checked it before you sent it! :)


  1. The forward that yanked my chain the most was a prank on a kid and his family. It stated that the kid was kidnapped and included his picture and his home phone number. The actual home phone number. This was a joke on him by some other kid in his school. A quick check of Snopes and all was revealed. Thing is, that family has been getting calls for years because someone who recognized the kid would get the email and get upset. Yikes.

  2. I can't think of a particularly ridiculous forward (aren't they all?) I'm just here to say thanks for two posts in a row, especially when all my other blogging stalwarts are failing me. I needed that giggle tonight.

  3. I'm not answering the question, but I hate forwards. I actually just delete them. I get them from one friend like 5-10 a day. Actually, I get them from 2 people. 1 person just forwards me everything from jokes to warnings. The other sends me a lot of conservative boycotting of movies and whatnot because, you know, it'll rot my brain, destroy my family, or somehow threaten the safety of the country. For my sanity, I delete all of them without opening. Sometimes, the boycott ones make me want to watch the movie, read the book, just to be contrary. :)

    What I dislike immensely is when friends send me Facebook crap. You're not one of those people so I can say this. I hate the Christmas ornaments, the plants, the Nicest Friend Award. It just clogs up my updates and means nothing. Plus, I don't take care of plants in real life let alone a virtual garden.

    The last forward I actually opened was true. It actually made me look into the law for 2 hours last Friday.

  4. The ones that annoy me the most are the ones supposedly looking out for women's safety - you know, the ones telling some horrible story about an old lady in Los Angeles who was murdered during a gang member initiation or something. Even if these things were true, the circumstances are always so bizarre that I just can't imagine myself ever being in them - "remember, ladies, if you're ever in a gas station at 2am in a convertible, don't let any vagrants into your car, because really, they're gang members and have to kill a woman in a convertible in order to pass gang initiation." Uh, ok, I'll remember that the next time.

    Oh, and by the way, thanks for the warning on the Yo Gaba Gaba. Just looking at the still picture made me feel like that little boy who saw dead people.

  5. I can't stand forwards! I delete without reading almost all of them. Believe me, I'm going to be destroyed with all the bad luck I've accumulated by not following through with their requirements. I hate the school project add your name email(people this school project is never ending and has been going on for years), and the warnings about kidnappings and terminally ill children (not because I don't have a heart, but because Snopes always debunks these messages). I think the worst one though is the petition to stop dihydrogen oxide from being added to all of our food and household products because it can cause a whole slew of dangerous side effects. Dihydrogen oxide = 2H + O = H2O. This was done for a school project apparently to how many people would fall for it. Thanks school kids for determining that people will fall for it and I'll get plenty of messages reminding me that the "dangerous compound" can cause death (true-if you drown).

  6. Thanks for enlightening me about Yo Gaba Gaba. For the first 30-45 seconds I just laughed thinking about all the things that you and your friends had commented about it, and after that I started to feel my head swirl and my mind haze over with that horrible phrase repeated over and over and over... Yeah, I won't be clicking on that again!

    As for the forwarding...I HATE FORWARDS! I really do. Most of the time I just delete them, but every so often I will debunk it with snopes, and reply back to them. While we are on the subject, I also don't like recipe exchanges or anything like that. It's not that I don't want more recipes and stuff, but I'd rather meet together and try the stuff and exchange recipes, but I'm too lazy to do the email ones!

    BTW, I feel special that I was mentioned on your blog...even if you had to correct that I'm not stupid. LOL Thanks for clarifying!

  7. I HATE forwards that tell you there is a sick kid or kid missing and they want your money. Then you find out its not true. That bothers me that people would use kids that way!!!

  8. Okay, since my mom won't go near your blog, (no offense, she just rarely even goes to mine) I can mention her. She sends me ALL of them. I've seen them all. From Perfume dealers that really just put mase or some date drug aerosol in them to capture you to the recipe exchanges. I did it twice and got three recipes. blah.

    But the best one I can think of was a forward about Microsoft trying to give away all this money and that all you had to do is forward it to (a large number of people) and you got an insane amount of people. My mom did this. She got no money. I had to explain to her about how Microsoft was a computer hardware program and not an email tracking system.

    I also enjoy the rare "You will die in 7 days if you do not forward this" forward. Mother!! The computer does not play God either!

  9. PS My kids think this is a "bad show" and don't watch it. Very creative lyrics and 80's Atari game sound effects, etc etc etc. lame.

  10. If I have a friend/acquaintance that finds it necessary to forward chain letters that say things like, 'If you love Jesus, you'll forward this to 20 of your closest friends,' or other crazy things, I usually give them one or two freebies. After that, I usually write them a note telling them not to waste my time by forwarding it to me.

    If it's an urban legend, like the combustible glade plug-ins, I first look it up on snopes, then reply all with a smart-assy comment like, "Click this link to tell you the REAL STORY behind this urban legend. I mean, don't you think if it was true, it would be all over the news? Next time check your information before you click forward."

    I do have a good girlfriend who sends me funny stuff. I do enjoy whenever I see a fwd. from her. She never disappoints with the 'hot mess' she sends my way.

    How did your apple butter sandwiches turn out?

  11. Forwards=deleted. :)

    I have seen Big Love and I can totally see why people watch it, I'd get addicted. XD But yeah, so not the church. They are very clear and I felt they did a great job making the distinction.

    Oh yeah, um, SwingTown was on CBS. It was indeed network tv about swingers. Not to fret tho, it was canned.


Be nice or I'll punch you in the taco.