Monday, August 24, 2009

I bet there's a chip in her brain.

So, raise your hand if you have a daughter under the age of five (you can keep reading even if you don't. Or, you know, not. Whichever. I'm flexible like that.). Can someone please instruct me on the proper punctuation usage when ending a sentence with parenthesis before I embarrass myself further?

Anyway, did yours wake up one day suddenly worshiping the screechy voiced jail bait also known as Hannah Montana (who is also known as Miley Cyrus)?

Amelia has never watched Hannah Montana. It's not that it's a bad show or that I don't want her to watch it, it's just that she's three and Dora and Kai-Lan are more her speed. And her siblings are boys so when they pick the TV show it always involves epic battles and Japanimation of some sort (Note: Avatar The Last Air Bender is one of the best cartoons ever created ever. That and Sponge Bob. No, as a matter of fact I'm not being sarcastic. Sponge Bob is awesome and I wish I was cool enough to have created it.). <---See? Help me, please.

So anyway, we're in the van a couple of weeks ago and the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana song "The Climb" came on for the umpteenth time. And Amelia professed her love for the song and begged me to turn it up. Later that day I found her in her room parading around in toy high heels, singing into a wooden block, tossing her hair around, and proclaiming that she's "Anna Montan-a-na." Today we were at Wal-Mart and they had a video of "The Climb" playing on a loop. She literally wrapped her arms around the shelf and screamed when I tried to leave the area. "Nooooo! It's Anna Montan-a-na! I loooooooove her! I need to watch it!" Which later turned into needing to buy the video for her. (I didn't.) How does she even know? How?

Here's my theory: Disney has agents working as nursery nurses in every hospital in the world. When girls are born, the agent injects an itty-bitty, Disney controlled microchip into their brains.

It starts with princesses. Then things like Hannah Montana. Then High School Musical and The Jonas Brothers. And it doesn't stop there.

I mean, how else can you explain Johnny Depp's Oscar nomination for Pirate's of the Caribbean? Jack Sparrow is a fun character and Johnny Depp is hot and all, but an Academy award? Really?

It's the chip. You heard it here first.

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