Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Infomercial Love

Some of you already know this about me, but for those who don't, I love infomercials. I love them. I love the cheesiness, I love the unrealistic promises, I love the ingenuity of the people who come up with this stuff.

One of my latest favorites is the commercial for Aquaglobes. These are blown glass thingies that you fill with water and stick in your plants. It waters them for you. If I had plants I would be tempted to order these. O.K. let's face it, I'm tempted to order them anyway. I have a thing for blown glass, O.K.? But that's not the reason I like this infomercial. I like this infomercial because if you act now, you get a free gift box with each Aquaglobe. See the free gift boxes pictured at right. I'm pretty sure those are just the standard packaging these babies come in. But hats off to the marketing genius who decided to call them free gift boxes.

One that I've actually purchased is Debbie Meyer's Green Bags. Not only have I purchased them, but I have recommended them to people. I can feel myself getting into a Debbie Meyer induced tizzy when I talk to people about these, but I can't help it. They're awesome. Sweet Debbie promised me that I'd save hundreds of dollars in rotten produce, and Debbie doesn't lie. I would be ungrateful if I didn't stand before you and bare you my testimony that I know Debbie Meyer's claims are true. In the name of fresh produce, Amen. Oh, and she just came out with deli meat bags! YES!

I can't say that I purchased this--I more inherited it from a family member who fell prey to the sparkly short shorts and body oil--but let's be honest, I'd have bought it.
Don't you judge me. The man is a workout genius. I dare you to not get hooked by the first song. Plus, he has women fatter than me on there, and that's always a self esteem booster.

One that I've become obsessed with recently is the Chillow. I'm always hot, especially at night. I run fans, the AC, you name it. This one promises to keep me cool forever--no plugs, no fans.
Sounds great, however I like to know the science behind the miracle. Debbie Meyer talks science with me. Aquaglobe voice-over man gets botanistic with me. But not the Chillow people. No, it's all a big secret with them. Here, read for yourself:
The Chillow Comfort Dev
ice is a thin, very soft, medical-grade, non-electric thermoregulating device. Chillow Comfort Device is designed to keep your pillow cool. The Chillow Comfort Device is a steady, lasting, and super comforting sensation which doesn't blow air, make noise, or cost money to run. There is no product in the world like it. Just activate it one time, and leave it in your pillow full-time. Its very soothing and relaxing effect will give you super sleep night after night- you're never too hot, you're never too're always perfectly comfortable!
So, O.K. It's a device. I got it. But how does it work? Until you start giving up some secrets, Chillow Mafia, I'm keeping my $29.99 plus $6.95 S&H securely in my wallet.

Now there's one product that I consider the Holy Grail of infomercials. I have seen the infomercial probably 50 times. Every time, I get thisclose to picking up the phone and ordering it. I've always talked myself out of it--it's too expensive, I'd never really use it, where would I put it?... Even when they cut the price in half a couple of years ago I still talked myself out of it. But I want it, and I want it bad. I've always wanted it. It's like your first love that you never completely get over. It was my first infomercial. It calls to me. I need a cold a shower if I see Ron Popiel. All because of this little machine:

So if you're wondering what to get me for Christmas, there you go.

Forgive my weird font changes--I can't seem to fix them...


  1. I am addicted to watching infomercials, but I never buy. We did buy Kaboom, but we didn't buy it off the television. The one that amuses me is the one for the Sham-Wow! Laura is obsessed with the Procede commercial (to reduce the appearance of thinning hair). When she hears Guisseppe Franco's voice, she freezes and stares at the tv and then goes about her business when it's over. You can see these commercials on You Tube. Otherwise, she can take or leave the tv. We actually have an entire As Seen On TV store at the mall.

  2. I'm not really a fan of infomercials since the 'spray on hair' of about 20 years ago. I remember me and my brothers laughing like crazy at the people who actually thought that spraypaint could resemble actual hair.

    I do love the infomercial on the movie 'The Cat in the Hat' with Mike Meyers. Hilarious!

  3. I can't watch informercials because I get sucked in very quickly and all of the sudden the product becomes the answer to all my problems and I can't go another day without it. I remember watching the Ronco Food Dehydrator commercial when I was younger and begging my mom to buy it to no avail. It's still a sore spot with me. :)

  4. I can tell Hudson's been watching too much TV lately (ok, always) because we were in Bed Bath and Beyond last week, trying to negotiate the cart through an aisle that was obnoxiously packed with stuff, and he said, "Look Mom! Aqua Globes! Can we buy some?" Sure enough, there they were, in all their fancy gift-boxed glory. I told him no, even though, secretly, I wanted to buy some, too. And I don't even HAVE any houseplants.

  5. Let's see, my family bought the food dehydrator and I remember a summer FULL of homemade beef jerky! (My mom still uses it in Mexico and dried Mango is to DIE for!) We got the FLOBEE (Hair vacuum cutter) for a friend that STILL uses it. I got Windsor Pilates that kicks my butt and I love it! Proactive used to work on my skin. And I even bought those bags that you talked about, but I got them at BBB because Shilae told me that you LOVED them. :) I'm using them right now in fact since there are no preservatives here and things go bad in one day. They work! Go Brandi!

  6. My sister has the Aqua globes and likes them. As soon as I saw them in her houseplants, I wanted to know if they really worked. I like Infomercials as well, but I get sucked if I'm watching them when I'm sick. For some reason it makes so much more sense then. That is how I ended up with the Shark floor cleaner, and the GT Express.
    For the record, I didn't like the GT express at first it kept burning everything (even following their recipes), when I found out that I would hardly get anything back after I paid to return it and lost the S&H that I already paid, it made more sense to keep it. Now I've gotten much better as using it, and actually kind of like it.

    As for the Shark Floor cleaner. Well, I only used it a few times and it didn't get the shoe scuff marks out like it promised, but it did clean. My floor isn't the best to use it on since it's so stinking old, but I wanted it for our laminate flooring that we are getting so the jury is still out on this product. The biggest draw back is the pad to clean with gets dirty super fast and doesn't fit as good the second time after it's been washed, and to buy extra ones it costs like $20. That's a lot!

    I love and still to day want a Food Dehydrator, just like the one you want. Word of warning dad who is also a infomercial fan ordered it and ended up with a lower model that didn't even have a fan. It was a piece of crap, so my Mom had to trade it in for the one you had pictured. I don't know how it happened. My dad thought he was getting the other one, but ended up with the fanless one, so be careful not to get the wrong one, if you finally give in. (That was a good 10-15 years ago though) The one she finally got after was awesome! I made beef jerky, bananas, name it. I had so much fun, and then I had to give it back. It was a sad day.

    Wow, I could have done my own post!

    Have a good one, happy infomercial hunting!

  7. For all his goofiness, I really like Richard Simmons. He's really pretty sweet to his target audience. I was watching this documentary/show on a nursing home that cared for the super-obese and he came to visit. He was the only one who actually looked at the fat people, I mean LOOKED at them, as humans. The nurses and doctors were just doing their jobs, Simmons wasn't, he was pursuing his passion, to help those people. Anyway, I respect him, silly hair, repellent shorts and all.

  8. i bought that food dehydrator - because i could dehydrate food!!! and living in earthquake country we could put this food away for the big one!! well i sure dehydrated a lot of parsley!! it's great for that! and i dehydrated some pineapple - oh yum!! and it makes the house smell good...when we moved - it went into the trash...sorry, not worth the effort to use this! but i do love ron p!!!

  9. Oh I love watching Infomercials. I have yet to buy anything from them!

  10. The Chillow® works like a radiator in a car by using water to help dissipate heat to the air. Hot fluid enters the radiator, loses its heat, and cool water travels back through the system to begin the process again. The chillow, which can go on top of the pillow, acts as a radiator for the body. It uses water to absorb and then dissipate heat back to the surrounding air, leaving a cool sensation.

  11. i've always wondered about if the green bags really work. thanks for the testimonial!

  12. you might be able to get those green bags at your local grocery store - and they are cheaper and just as good as the "green bags" on the infomercials..


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