Wednesday, October 22, 2008


So, you may have heard about a little loophole in the Nebraska Safe Haven law on the news lately.

Safe Haven laws were created to allow a parent to abandon a newborn at a hospital or fire department or police station without legal repercussions. Nebraska failed to add an age limit for abandoned children, and has received several older kids--even teens--lately.

Hence, Nebraska has become my gossamer thread of hope on bad days. On days when I just don't think I can take anymore back talking, anymore lying, anymore fighting, anymore crying, anymore poop where it doesn't belong, anymore pee soaked sheets, anymore peanut butter on the couch, I remind myself that if it ever gets really bad--really really bad--there's always Nebraska. It's just a road trip away.

But today I read that they are quickly working out a change to the law to remedy their oversight. Sigh. So, I guess I'm back to these guys:

Ben once told me that he hated us and wanted a new family. Well, he's said it a lot more than once, actually, but the particular time I'm referring to I had had it. I simply said, "Fine. I'll find you one."

Awhile later I called him in and showed him that picture (it's one I randomly found by Googling "mean elderly couple"). I told him they were Bob and Myrtle Gummerson and they were going to be his new family. I told him they wouldn't give him a bedtime or make a lot of rules, but he would be required to help change their diapers and count out their pills.

Somehow I managed to do this with a straight face and he totally believed me. He quickly decided that he might be better off with us for awhile.

Goodbye day dreams of one way trips to the Corn Belt, hello threats of Bob and Myrtle...


  1. Can I either: 1. Drive with you to Nebraska with my kids? or 2. Borrow Bob and Myrtle?

  2. I'm laughing so hard, I can't even remember where I found you site from. Oh, where were you when my kids were little? I would have framed that picture and hung it up - right next to the tv.

  3. I did read about that law. NE should have seen it coming.

    Cort used to threaten all the time that she was going to go and live with her real family. My mom would just help her pack and she'd be like "why don't you want me?" One time, she did make it to the end of the driveway. The best part is that she met her biological family and discovered we're all not so bad. :) They're like super overprotective and fussy over her.

  4. Ha! I used to take my kids to the post office (before they could read) and tell them it was the orphanage. Told them their older brother lived there because he was so very bad.

    Kids are 18 and 21 now, and they still laugh about it, so I guess I didn't permanently damage their psyche!

  5. OMG Brandi I am STILL laughing!!
    They all say they hate us, but Bob and Myrtle were really creative of you!
    Although I was planning on volunteering just in case any of the kids said it again and you wanted to take them up on it......


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