Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thursday Morning Confessions: The Short List

O.K., so it's really afternoon. Cut me some slack.

This will be an abbreviated list today, because really I'm running our of things to confess.

1. This website cracks me up. It's "People of Wal-Mart." It's just pictures of the people (and sometimes the vehicles) you see in Wal-Mart. I think it's funny that the site owner has a policy against pictures of Amish/Mennonites and of people in Hover-round scooters. I think I saw at least two of each this morning when I was there. And a quick warning--while the site itself never uses profane language, there have been some pictures of people wearing t-shirts with profanity on them. You might also want to avoid the site if you're offended by mullets and butt crack.

One of my favorite pictures from the site because 1) her pannus is bigger than mine and 2) the fishnets remind me of Harmony.

2. If you're listening to your mp3 player while you exercise at the Y, it's nearly impossible to know if the gas you just passed was of the silent but deadly variety, or if everyone in your immediate vicinity heard it and thinks you're gross. Not that I ever pass gas. I'm just speaking in generalities.

3. On Sundays I let myself have a treat or two that I normally avoid. Last Sunday I decided I was going to indulge in some Cape Cod Jalapeno & Cheddar chips. I'd forgotten to buy them, so I asked Will to get a bag when he went to the store Saturday night. He had the audacity to bring home the wrong kind. Suddenly I was like a crack-whore out of crack. I'd have turned tricks for those chips.

4. There is a mountain of clean laundry on my couch that has been there for three days. Every time I sit down to fold it I fall asleep.

5. The TV gods must have smiled down upon me because we're suddenly getting Bravo. I have so much Top Chef and Kathy Griffin to catch up on.

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