Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Because I know you're all wondering what to send me for Christmas.

1. A pair of THESE. I don't care what pattern.

2. THIS dress.

3. A tummy tuck and some new boobs. And now I kind of want my arms done, too. I have flappy wings, which are especially sexy since they fold in half under my clothes and rub against themselves causing awesome skin tags.

4. An Ikea less than two hours away. I was spoiled in Germany and Maryland where I had at least two within a 30 minute drive. Here the closest one is two hours away in Atlanta. When we move the closest one will be two hours away in Ottawa, Ontario. I will have to leave the country to go to Ikea.

5. A vacation. A real one. I don't care where (well, O.K., I kinda do. I want it to be away from Augusta, Georgia). I really just want to be in a decent hotel with the kids in their own room, and I want to relax. Any suggestions? Any suggestions I could actually afford?

I was looking at going to Charleston, SC during the week leading up to Christmas. I found a good deal at a very nice hotel where we could stay in a suite and we'd be in our own bedrooms for less than it would cost to rent two rooms in a crappy hotel. But, Will is cheap. He said, "for that price we could stay home and do all kinds of fun stuff." So I said, "Like what?" He replied, "Go kart racing, mini golf, laser tag..." And that's when I sort of flipped out a little. And all the women out there reading this know why. That is not a vacation. It may be fun (for him and the kids), but who will still have to clean the bathrooms that week? Me. Who will still have to cook all the meals? Me. who will still have to do every single thing she normally does in addition to all the "fun" I'd be having here in rural Georgia? Me.

So I want a vacation for me. Me me me. Me. Maybe I should leave him at home to have "fun" with the kids and I'll go someplace sweet for a few days. I hear are there are some nice spas in Savannah...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Be nice or I'll punch you in the taco.