Tuesday, December 2, 2008


So, I have an announcement to make.

I'm going to have gastric bypass surgery on January 6th.

I've been wanting to post about it for awhile now, but I've been in surgery scheduling limbo for a month and didn't want to post about it until I had a firm date. Today I got it.

I thought briefly of going the Star Jones route and claiming yoga and pilates was the key to my sudden and dramatic weight loss, but I know realistically that I can only keep a secret for about 3 minutes.

I know some of you out there are like, "Dude, just drop the cheeseburger." And that would probably work for a little while. I lost 75 lbs the old fashioned way 5 years ago. Then I popped out a kid and gained 120 lbs. In 4 months. Yes, four. That's 30 pounds a month. I deserve some sort of recognition for that.

One of the many reasons I'm choosing surgery is because I have a lot of health issues. A couple of them will disappear within weeks of the surgery, others over a little more time. That wouldn't happen as quickly dieting.

There are numerous other reasons that surgery is actually preferable over dieting (medically speaking). Here's a link if you're interested in reading about it. A few things the article doesn't mention: Gastric bypass substantially lowers your level of grehlin (the hormone secreted that tells your brain you're hungry). Also, unlike dieting, your body doesn't go into starvation mode. When you're in starvation mode, you hang onto every last particle of fat--not what you want if you're trying to lose weight. And believe me--surgery is by no means the easy way.


Kind of a boring post, I know. But I wanted to put it out there. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have. I don't want anyone to feel like it's taboo. And I'll be chronicling my progress once I have the surgery. I know you're all dying to see my flabby self in a bathing suit for the traditional "Morning of surgery" shot that everyone does.

Hopefully Obama doesn't do anything to change our income tax refund drastically. Next year it's buying me a tummy tuck and new boobs, and the year after it's taking us to a tropical island somewhere for 2 weeks so I can show off the tummy tuck and new boobs. Will totally is begging for a bigger set. I'd be happy if they just stood at attention.


  1. Congrats? I'm not really sure what the correct response is for "I'm having bypass surgery". I hope everything goes well and look forward to watching you waste away.

    Wait -- that sounds crappy too. I'm gonna just quit now.

    (And don't worry, unless Will is making more than $160K a year, Pres. Obama will be giving you EXTRA tax return money. Hello teenager boobies!)

  2. Wow, good luck with everything! It'll be great to hear about your progress and maintenance and to actually see you (and not Angelina) in photos!

  3. Angelina? Who is this Angelina you speak of?


    Nicole--congrats is a perfect response. If the tax return is big enough, I'm gonna go for the butt lift, too.

  4. First off, I commend you for not being embarassed to post about this.

    Secondly surgery is NOT the easy way. When I had my reflux surgery (which amazingly enough is pretty similar) I thought it'd be smooth sailing. it wasn't. It hurt. And I couldn't eat real food for months. And even then, I had to watch what I ate. When you stomach and body go through all that, it is hard. But, I thought it was worth it. Did I mention bread? Surgically altered tummies don't like bread. Sad!

    Lastly, just move closer to a military hospital and hope that the war gets downgraded (no, not via Obama and Hillary) because military hospitals like Bethesda do plastic surgery for free (when not in a time of war.) The doctors need practice. Cheyenne wants us to be back at Bethesda when I'm done having kids so I can get my boobs back where they belong. XD

  5. Good luck, Brandi! Hope everything goes well with the surgery. I know two people who had gastric bypass, and they're happy with the results.

  6. Yeah you have a date! I was going to ask you last night, but like you said, I wasn't sure you would want talk about it around everyone. So glad you are so candid. It's a healthy approach. I can't wait to see that hotty body whittle away and for all those health issues to disappear for you. Last night was fun. Hopefully I wasn't too much of a downer with my stressed out, pathetic, husbandless self. It was great to get out for a couple hours. At least you get to enjoy the holidays and all the yummy treats you won't be able to have in a few weeks. :)

  7. How exciting! I know a handful of people who have done it and have really loved their results. It is A LOT of work, but you can actually see the results on a time-line that encourages you to keep going. I recommend that you indulge yourself until you're sick, because you won't be able to for a long time!

  8. Congratulations! I am so happy it has all finally worked out for you! I hope you will post frequent pics of your progress :)

  9. About what Crystal said -- the whole free plastics at military hospitals -- I, ummm, have personal knowledge of this.

    But now I am realizing there is probably a better place to talk about this, like sacrament meeting:)

  10. Good for you! My mom has been obese most of my life and keeps talking herself out of the surgery. It is not an easy decision. Wishing you the best!

  11. I hope everything goes well for you. I know it will.

    As for the boobs and the tummy... That's going to be my retirement present when Mel retires. When we can pay for it with cash, I intend to have teenager boobies and no loose flabby skin. Four kids is hard on a body.


Be nice or I'll punch you in the taco.