Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tie a knot in it, Jim Bob

Have you guys heard of the Duggars? The family who just had their 18th child? The ones who will keep going until poor Mrs. Duggar's ovaries dry up because God wants them to keep having kids?

Yeah, I have a real problem with them.

I actually don't have a problem with them having 18 kids per se. They can keep procreating until Mrs. Duggar's 1988 mullet comes back in style for all I care. They are financially able to provide for the family, and they're raising caring, responsible children. All that is great by me.

What I take issue with is their buddy system. Each older child is assigned one (or more) buddies--a younger child that they essentially raise. Don't believe me? It's all here on the official family website in the FAQ.

I think all children need to have responsibilities in the home. They all need to be taught life skills. They all need to pitch in.

However, I think being assigned a sibling to be wholly responsible for is unfair. Read through the FAQ. Tell me when play time for the older kids is, because I've yet to see it on the schedule.

When you see them on TV, the older kids are always smiling and saying how much they love their life. I don't know if it's acting or brainwashing, but I have a hard time believing that a 16 year old girl is thrilled that her mother just popped out number 18, meaning she gets to take on responsibility for yet another sibling.

I think a good rule of thumb for this family should be: If you can't take care of the family without full time help from the older children, it's time to stop.

But that's just me. What do you think?


  1. I'd be cryin like that little girl in red... 18, huh? Well, I always wanted 11. To each their own as long as they are HAPPY. truly happy. They need to go on dates and football games and movies and NOTHING every once in a while too though. crazy.

  2. i think the kids, growing up with those responsibilities, probably don't chafe as much as others might think.

    responsibility comes in many forms - jobs, pets, volunteerism...


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  4. Ya know, I bet those kids just don't know any better. As I recall, they are home schooled, yes? On the other hand, um, how happy can your kids make you if you don't know everything about them because one of your other kids is taking care of them?

    Also, if my family of 5 kids, two parents, a grand kid and our significant others (totaling 10 people) can't have a regular conversation at the dinner table, how do those guys do it?

  5. Yeah, I come from a large family (10 kids), and I just think it's tough to give good, quality one-on-one time with all of those kids. Not that the parents don't love them, but me personally - FOR ME personally - I think you should stop when you and your hubby can't personally take care of them all. But hey, to each their own! But PLEASE, Mrs. Duggar, consider losing the mullet! As Brandi would say, that just makes you look crazy cakes!

  6. I think the thing I love most about you is that you say (write) what everyone else is thinking. (at least me)

    That family is definitely different. My question is, what is their motivation for being on tv?

  7. As soon as I saw the title of your post I started laughing- knowing just what it was about :)
    I could not agree with you more. I think the kids are used to caring for the younger ones but it is just sad that the parents aren't the primary care givers. Their situation is a true example of a "baby factory".

  8. I love the duggars! because they are not mormon and because they are not amish or polygamists and they still find raise their families in such a great way.

    i think and work and responsibity make kids happy. i think all this free time that we give ourselves and our kids causes depression and other mental illness. so the fact that each kid is responsible for another is great. they are still educated and they still dont work nearly as much as people did in the old days because we have electricity, indoor plumbing, washer and dryers, etc. so the older kids dont seem deprived or overworked to me.

    my kids seem underworked and overindulged to me. i still think mrs dugger is busy and hardworking, and i on the other hand waste a lot of time.

    so i wish my family including my kids would be more like the duggers, though i have no plans to have 18 children. i think having a small child keeps us busier and therefore out of mischief, maybe that's why i'm considering another baby.

    busy is good, lazy is not so good, and i'm lazy...


  9. I LOVE that show and I keep wondering why it doesn't show up on my DVR as often as I think it should. I personally think they're living the way God intended. Mom and Dad don't have to -- and shouldn't -- have to micromanage their children. I think it's beautiful the way their children are learning responsibility and love, by living naturally, avoiding TV, video games. Just an awesome family.

  10. Grr. I just discovered that hubby deleted my series recording for that show. Serves me right though. I deleted his Planet of the Apes marathon.

  11. Just to clarify--I love the values that the Duggars instill in their children. I agree that they are living the way God intends. I agree that hard work and responsibility are good for children.

    My one and only beef with the Duggars is that the older children are not just helping out--they are fully and completely raising at least one of their younger siblings. I think that's an unfair responsibility to lay on a 12 year old.

  12. Hi again :) Your blog is so delightful, Brandi, I've dropped by a couple times since discovering it on a comment somewhere awhile ago. Hope you don't mind. I love your sense of humor. I don't even know how to be funny (unless I'm making fun of my husband, then I can really get going!) I've read somewhere that a healthy sense of humor is an indication of intelligence. I believe it, I really do. There are some synapses that you humorous people have that I just can't seem to find in myself! Anyway, all that to say I understand your perspective on the Duggars, you know they're good people, and every unusual thing is irresistable to poke a little fun at :) I imagine the older children take care of the dirty work involved with the babies (mom & dad have surely been there, done that, and they apparently did a fine job of it), but on whole, I believe the parents are raising ALL the children by teaching them values and responsibility. I think I would've benefitted greatly if I'd had such responsibilites (taking care of babies on a regular basis) as a teenager. Parenthood wouldn't have come as such a shock to me! :) Love ya :)


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