O.K., I get it. I'm wasteful, ignorant and violent. And white.

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So, Will and I saw Avatar last night.

I know I'm not the first to say this, but it's true. Essentially it was Pocahontas, just in the future and on another planet. Seriously. Here is the entire plot of Avatar:

"Colors of the Wind" (From Disney's Pocahontas)

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth Pandora is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth Pandora
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore Hometree grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper blue skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth Pandora and still
All you'll own is Earth Pandora until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

I know that a lot of movies are simply a retelling of classic stories. Like, all the 80's teen movies were based on Shakespeare's plays. I'm O.K. with that. But they didn't re-tell Pocahontas in a fresh, new way. They literally just told the story of Pocahontas and simply changed the names and location. That part was disappointing.

It wasn't a bad movie--it'll hold your attention for the full two and a half hours--and it was visually stunning. I guess I just expected the story to match the originality of the cinematography.

What I really don't get are the stories I've been reading about people getting severely depressed after seeing it. Umm, really? I suspect these people had issues before they ever set foot in the theater. I mean, sure, the planet was beautiful and the Na'vi hadn't caused global warming with their big, republican SUVs,* but they did live with the constant threat of being eaten alive. I'll take global warming and my eight-seater van, thanks.

So, in general, I'd say it's worth the ticket price to see it in the theater and in 3-D. Just remember--You're an ignorant, wasteful, violent, white human. O.K.?


*Insert sarcasm here.