Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Nevermind! I want to be fat!


Today was my pre-op, pre-admission appointment for the bypass surgery, otherwise known as "why you'll probably die on the table."

I went in excited and came out terrified.

First I met with the surgeon. Actually, it was the surgeon's resident. The surgeon was too busy trying to kill someone else in the O.R. to make the appointment.

So, the resident gives me a list of about 100 different things that could possibly go wrong and kill me, and then had me sign a paper saying that was O.K. with me.

Then I went and talked to a nurse about various details and what to expect at the hospital. Then she gave me a list of about 275 things that might go wrong but won't necessarily kill me, and then had me sign a paper saying that was O.K. with me.

Then I went and talked to anesthesiology. They gave me a list of 100 completely different things that could possibly go wrong and kill me, and then had me sign a paper saying that was O.K. with me.

So, now I'm scared. What do you think the odds are obesity will become the latest fad?

8 comments:

  1. You could have someone write a list of what could go wrong if you didn't do the surgery. Would that help? Better yet, write down the list of things that could go RIGHT! Positive thinking!

    It goes succesfully for so many and you've already had surgery before so you know how you react to anesthesia.

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  2. Just know that whatever you choose, your friends (including me) love you no matter what size you wear or how you look. :)

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  3. Well, if it makes you feel better, they do that for any surgery. When i had my two this last summer, i was scared going in there and hearing all that could happen, even though i knew it already. I cried when i realized that a tube was going to go down my throat as well. Nothing like the gory details BEFORE it happens to freak you out.
    I like what April said, though. Make the list of things that could go wrong if it wasn't done. Chin up!

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  4. Stop whining. You're going to get new boobs when it's all over with. Keep your eye on the prize(s).

    For real though, ditto what Jaime said.

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  5. Marianne, you're awesome. THAT'S the kind of motivation I need. I've got friends in spades. It's perky boobs that I need.

    :)

    Oh, and I forgot to mention--I've already lost 20 lbs since September. Woohoo for me!

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  6. My mother-in-law always threatens to write directions all over her body in lipstick before surgery. Listing what she's allergic to, etc. I dont think it's a bad idea myself. :)

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  7. Sweetie, as you know I had the surgery 26 years ago when it was a very new procedure with much higher risks. I am convinced that I would have gained even more weight and died from some weight related illness without the surgery. You won't regret it I promise.

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  8. So funny how you worded this post. Wish I was brave enough to go through with it.

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Be nice or I'll punch you in the taco.

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