Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Get out of the pool, you filthy, filthy whore.


So, today being Tuesday, I went to do laps in the pool at the Y.

They only had 4 lap lanes open, all being used, but you're supposed to double up. So, I hop in the widest lane and start my laps.

The next thing I know, the man who was also in the lane grabbed my arm and started yelling at me.

He was an older man--60-ish, probably, and Middle Eastern. My guess would be Saudi. Now, please please please don't send me hate mail about this. I am simply stating the facts as they happened.

He tells me that I can't be in this lane. Silly me thinks that he means he doesn't want to share the lane period. So, I point to the sign stating that lanes must be shared. He says no, I as a filthy dirty whore, cannot share the lane with a man.

Excuse me?

Then he starts a whole tirade about the travesty of having to share a whole pool with filthy whores (I swear, those were his words), but to have one in the same lane was beyond what he could tolerate. Because, you know, those floaty dividers are going to keep my filthy whore cooties off of him.

I told him to suck it and continued my laps.

By this point the life guard had come over and was dealing with him. He left shortly after.

He has every right to believe that women are filthy whores if they don a swimsuit and swim in public with (gasp!) men, but don't come to a public pool in the United States of America--a public pool in a building with the word Christian in its name no less--and expect all the women to clear out.

If I see him there again I think I might flash my boobs at him or something.

He picked the wrong filthy whore to mess with.

35 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh--I'd be SO livid--good for you to hold your ground!

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  2. OMG, that's horrible (yet I prefer to look at the slightly amusing side - I've never been called a filthy whore). I bet the lifeguard isn't getting paid enough to deal with that.

    hehehe - your whore cooties...

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  3. I'm with April -that's pretty darn funny. Don't get me wrong, I'd be pissed if someone said that to me -but I'd also want to laugh in their face. Is there a word for feeling angry and amused at the same time? I'm glad you told him to suck it and you kept swimming. Good reaction. Better than trying to drown him. Then the police would get involved...

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  4. that was so funny that i laughed out loud!!! that's a classic!!

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  5. The filthy whore part is funny in retrospect, but i just can't get past the fact that he grabbed your arm. Sorry, but i would have followed the three second rule where you can do anything in a knee gut reaction to some one startling you etc. I would have started screaming rape and pervert on the old fart!

    That's we we tell our kids to do when the crabby neighbor yells at all the kids for riding bikes past her house (on the sidewalk, no less).

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  6. Wow, I probably would have started crying or something. Good for you for not letting him intimidate you. What a creep! Love your YMCA stories. Sounds like you need to come on over to the Evans Y. :)

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  7. Were you the only filthy whore in the pool? Cause that happened to me once, but I was at a family reunion.

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  8. Well that just sealed it for me -- I will camp out at the pool PRAYING for someone to call me a filthy whore so I have a deserving recipient for all the rage I bottle up.

    I hope I see him when I am PMS-ing...

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  9. HAHAHAHA...My kids just asked what was so funny. I would be fuming all day long, coming up with some pretty wild responses. Mostly I would have wanted to spit in his face. Seriously...we live in America!!! Man, Georgia seems to be a pretty crazy place. Or maybe its just you Brandi, I'm not sure :p

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  10. did you really tell him to suck it? Or did you say what I would say? Rhymes with "duck noff" LOL

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  11. Marianne--

    What I actually said was, "I paid as much for my membership as you did, and I'll swim where I want. By the way, I saw your camel in the parking lot. She looked lonely."

    Borderline racist? Yes. But I felt better.

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  12. As your mother it makes me want to find this guy and inflict violent acts upon him. Do you remember what I did to the guy that got fresh with Hailie at a concert in Green River, WY?

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  13. I probably would have started crying, too. I'm NOT good with confrontation. I'll now live vicariously through you. :)

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  14. Oh my word!!! I can't believe you were so nice. I would have said a few not so nice words to the guy. I hope he never crosses my path. What a Jerk!!! I am with Emily I think I would have yelled rape,or Pervert. The nerve coming into a public YMCA. Whatever that guy needs to get a life.

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  15. There has to be rules at the Y for that kind of behavior. If you see him again, I would have his membership revoked. I mean how many other ladies has he had that conversation with?? What a jerk!

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  16. Maybe it's a mom thing. I told my mom this story, and she was totally outraged and said she would threaten the guy and report him to whoever was in charge and have his membership revoked. :)

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  17. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE, Oh WOW, I had a good laugh. Seriously, how do you always come across these people?
    I don't know what I would have said. I hate to think of what I would do. Glad I haven't had to find out! I'm impressed that you stood your ground! Nice!!!

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  18. HAHAHAHA!!! I love it!! I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. Why do these things happen to us??? I always get mentally ill people knocking at my door at odd hours of the day and night, and you always run into to straight up wierdos =] But I would have gone all American on his ass and let him know that here in good ol U.S. of A. women have the right to bare arms and they're smart enough to hide a body. =] Then I would swim away doing the backstroke while singing "My Country Tis Of Thee" very loudly =]

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  19. Ooooooh, that man would have been on the working end of a bitch slap if I had been there!

    (side note: Your Aunt Becky is HILARIOUS!)

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  20. Oh, I mean the working end of a filthy, filthy whore slap.

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  21. To answer a couple of questions--

    1. How do I come across these people? Crazy attracts crazy.

    2. I was a little scared when he grabbed my arm. I was giving the lifeguard serious "help me" eyes while he was having his tirade. Once the lifeguard stepped in I assumed that he would report the incident.

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  22. You know I love your mom, right? I do. Really. And your Aunt Becky and your sister are coming in close behind.

    Something else that made me laugh? Trying to imagine Tina Bastian saying not nice things. Does she know how? 'Cause really, I'm not so sure...

    Did somebody threaten the guy with deportation if he didn't get in the co-ed pool and swim? Is he afraid that the Richmond County Sheriff is going to pack him off to Guantanamo if he doesn't do his laps? I mean, really, if he's so offended, why wouldn't he just buy a treadmill and get his exercise in the privacy of his own home? It's not like he doesn't know that things are a little different here in America. I think he was just having a major guilt trip over having the hots for your new bod and took it out on you :)

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  23. That's startling.

    But the best revenge is not to prove his point. Best to be elegant and composed and friendly.

    Really. It's horrifying that so many people think this way. But makes for a good blog post!

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  24. Dude, Natasha, how on earth could being elegant and composed change somebody's mind about women who are strangers to him being filthy, filthy whores?

    He didn't say "You unmannered Ann Lander's dropout!"

    If only it were that easy to change the minds of fanatics!

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  25. Nicely done.It's the fact that you were firm but also polite that is REALLY impressive. I had a similar experience a few years back - I had booked 2 bunk beds in a unisex dorm at a hostel - one for me and one for my girlfriend. We arrived, we unpacked, we laid out our sleeping bags...Looked like there was only a couple of other people in the dorm...and then one of them came back - a 50-something italian lady (again, just telling it how it is...) and she immediately launched into a foul tirade at my being in a female dorm. I said "excuse me, but you are incorrect" and walked over and pointed at the M/F sign on the door. She ran off and continued insulting me over her shoulder (calling me a pervert, a voyeur, etc) and my gf was back at the next bunk by the time crazy-italian-lady returned with the (obviously unhappy) manager woman. The manager patiently explained to me that, yes, I was in the right, but could me and my gf please pack all our things and move to another (smaller, empty) dorm because otherwise this woman would cause her endless grief. I did (for the manager's sake)...and I've regretted it ever since. It's rankled and gnawed at me and has never been forgotten. I wish I'd stood my ground like you did. Well done.

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  26. OK, first of all, I'm impressed with your response - you had your wits about you much more than I would. Second of all, I am SOOOO jealous that you can now say that you've been called a filthy whore! LUCKY!!! Sure, I've been called fat and ugly and stupid (mostly by relatives or guys dating me), but never filthy whore! That's just AWESOME! Coming from that waste-of-space you ran into, that's a damn badge of honor!

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  27. Dooooood! You go girl.

    Now, get thee to the office and report the filthy, filthy whore hater. Never assume someone has done their job, you make sure you get it done.

    Well done, Grasshopper. Well done.

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  28. poohzcrew,
    I am with you on the Tina Bastian thing. Tina is so nice, I can't imagine her saying anything not nice to anyone.

    Tina,
    Please don't shatter our image of you.

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  29. What he needs is a nice kick in the crotch. I'm really bad at these situations and get pretty quick with the tongue. Ooooh, the nerve! My blood boils just thinking of men like that. The sad part: if he has a wife. That poor thing!

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  30. So Brandi, we need closure. Did you go back to the y and report the guy? or are you planning to do it?

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  31. Sylwia--

    When I was at the Y today I went and talked to a manger. She had been made aware of the situation yesterday by the lifeguard. Yesterday was the first time the man had ever been to the Y. They gave him a warning, and any more complaints and his membership will be revoked.

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  32. So will I get filthy whore cooties by visiting your blog? :)

    Wow! What an experience!

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  33. I really had no idea when I clicked onto your site that I was going to get to read the phrase "filthy whore cooties." Wow, how cool is that.

    Yeah, he needs to rethink the public pool thing. Bless him.

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  34. I just stumbled this! Than ks for the laugh. I'm a swim mom and spend seven days a week at public schools and I can think of was that you have a cooler head than my own.

    Here's my Stumble:
    "Oh, my oh my. Never seen this in all my years. what would that man do if he knew I had (gasp) had an accident and put my filthy whore juices in HIS pool??

    http://www.unitedstatesofmotherhood.com/2008/05/true-confession-grown-women-pee-in-baby.html

    Heh! I think he might of smote me!"

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Be nice or I'll punch you in the taco.

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