Thursday, February 5, 2009

So I went to the pool again...

...and swam my laps without incident. Sorry to disappoint.

So anyway, I have a million things flying around in my head. Prepare for some randomness.

1. I now have a crush on Stephen King. Sure, he's a geeky weirdo, but A. He hails from my hometown, and B. He totally called Stephenie Meyer a crappy writer and said the Twilight series sucks unless you're a hormonal 15 year old girl. (O.K., those weren't his exact words, but it's what he meant.) Read about it HERE. I heart you, Stephen.

2. When did Hootie go country? I was listening to the country station on the way home from the Y (Don't judge me. The only alternative was "Let's Stay Together" by Isaac Hayes, and let's face it--once you've heard Chef singing "Salty Chocolate Balls" any other song by him pales in comparison). Anyway, I was listening to country and a song came on and it sounded very much like Hootie and the Blowfish. Except countrified. And then the announcer said it was Darius Rucker (AKA Hootie). Who knew? And it was pretty good.

If you have never heard "Chocolate Salty Balls", it's worth the 4 minutes of your life to listen now.

3. There are two little old Asian ladies that sit around naked and chatting in the locker room every day. Where do you look? I'm not accustomed to locker room nakedness, especially when it involves old ladies lounging, legs gaping, right next to my locker. (I'll give you a moment to let that mental image sink in. Think grey pubic hair.)

O.K., now picture her naked.

4. I now have three magazine subscriptions coming to me that I did not order and did not pay for. I've contacted the companies, and they say they're paid in full for a year, but they cannot tell me who paid for them. I'm getting Better Homes & Gardens, Ladie's Home Journal and Women's Health. If you're the one who ordered them for me, 1. Thank you and 2. Please fess up because it's giving me a paranoia complex.

5. If you misspell hotmail when typing you will get porn.

6. I have gained 4 pounds this week. FOUR!! I'm completely freaking out. How can I gain weight? HOW? HOW??!!!!!!!! I swam an extra 30 minutes today in defiance of the poundage.

7. Despite the evil 4 pounds, Amelia paid me the best compliment ever this morning. She said, "Mom, your tummy is getting little like a kid!" She's now my favorite child.

8. I'm saving most of my thoughts for Saturday's post, but I have to at least say this: Jin!!!!!!!

9. If I ruled the world, because would be spelled becasue. It would just make my life simpler.

10. Don't forget--tomorrow is the last day to enter the fabulous Cancer Can Suck It giveaway!!

Harmony totally told cancer to suck it
and it got so scared it ran away like a sissy and left her cancer free.


  1. Stephen King writes a column in Entertainment Weekly. It's one of the highlights of the subscription. I have his latest (and his son's) in my pile of books to be read.

    I can guarantee I will never be that little old lady hanging around nekkid. You did answer the grey pubic hair question. My mom and I have been wondering. Don't ask why. Actually, it's from a Sex & the City episode.

    Of COURSE, I've heard Chef singing that. I believe my brother-in-law has the CD. So funny. I actually did know Darius Rucker went country. His album came out last Fall to mixed reviews.

    Can't wait for all the things you're keeping until the weekend!

  2. I heard Darius had a new CD out...I just didn't know it was country. Interesting...

    Little bit of trivia...did you know on the first Hoootie CD, they blurred everyone's face so you couldn't tell Darius was black? They wanted to ensure it would be played in the South. True story.

  3. I'm speechless Brandi.

    I don't know what to say. You have rendered me speechless. This doesn't happen often.

  4. You DOOOO like country! I knew it. You can listen to one of his songs on my blog... :) Good ole Hootie. But you know, Jessica couldn't hang with the country crowd. darn. I'm learning to like Taylor Swift more... she just sounds like a big whiner most of the time, but the second song on my blog is hers and it's great. Just a hint of whininess in one part.

  5. Stephen King is my new hero. I've been walking around telling people that for days. :) He was rather diplomatic in explaining why it sold. But you would not believe the fangirls reactions. They are all really pissed (in all their 13 yr old glory.)

    Thanks for the naked old ladies. My friend wanted to me to go with her to try this bath house. I declined, but I say why besides I'd already done it a lot in Korea. Now I have a great excuse. Thanks.

    I forgot to tape lost so I'll have to wait until AFN airs it on Sunday! Ugh. So sorry, I won't be reading your tv post...well, maybe I'll peek at your BSG portion. Can you do that first so I don't scroll down and get spoiled Lost wise?

  6. Just trying to make the comments work again...

  7. Brandi

    yea, the comments are working again. as for scolding you for content, no absolutely, not. it's none of my business, what you write about, plus I enjoy it...

    ...however, be aware that whatever I read, Samuel reads, and he will probably pass it on to Ben in primary...

  8. OK, people, let's remember that the Twilight series is INTENDED for hormonal 15-year-old girls. It's NOT intended for 50-something horror writers or even 30-something moms. So it's absurd to say that the writing is not sophisticated enough for adult readers when it's not intended for us. And besides, very poor form on Mr. King's part to disparage fellow authors' writing abilities. That's just tacky. But...I do like Chef's chocolate salty balls.

  9. Stephen King did make a point to say really nice things about J.K. Rowling. He is a very honest man who doesn't mince words. I don't think tht he would just out of the blue say bad things about other writers. But, when asked to give his opinion of the Twilight series, he gave his true opinion. I haven't read anything by his son, I'll have to check it out. I did attempt to read a book written by his wife and after about three chapters thought, "This woman needs to get a grip, being married to Stephen King does not make her a writer."

  10. i was thinking about the twilight thing and i decided that i have an opinion about it.

    i tried very hard reading the book. i got through maybe half of it. i was planning to read the whole series, because whenever there is a big book out i want to be part of the conversation. i read the da vinci code when it was big (i loved it). i read all of the harry potters (they were a bit boring repetitive and predictable to truly enjoy) but i got through it just to be a part of what the rest of the world was reading.

    twilight i could not stomach all the way through. not even one whole book. i have a hard time with cheesy teenage romance. i simply would fall asleep.

    having said that, i must disagree and call stephanie mayer talented nonetheless. it doenst matter what you write about and how you write it. what matters is if you can find an audience that will buy your book over and over again and that will read it over and over again.

    you are talented if your book can stay on top of the bestseller list for 2 years!!!!

    ...and if people line up at midnight at the movie theater to see the very first showing of your movie.

    if you can do that, you've got talent...

  11. I have to disagree, Sylwia. That doesn't mean you have talent. It means you have success.

    Milli Vanilli won a Grammy and sold millions of records and they were lip synching.

    The Olsen Twins can't act their way out of a bag (and that's not just my opinion--it's pretty much an all around agreed upon statement) and yet they have a 'tween DVD empire.

    Paris Hilton is wildly famous for absolutely nothing. Nothing!!

    Heck, 2000 people a day drop by this blog to read it, but that doesn't change the fact that I specialize in self absorbed blabbering with no real point.

    As Stephen King noted, Stephenie Meyer can tell a story that's compelling to a certain market, but that doesn't equal writing talent.

    Just my opinion.

  12. Brandi

    we may be talking about the same thing but in different words. i don't think that either JK Rowling or Steph Mayer are particularly good writers.

    i think their talent and success was because they found a topic that fascinates our imaginations ie witches, wizards, vampires, and they wrote stories about them that were not totally dark. stories that kids could enjoy and parents would allow their children to enjoy, and heck even the parents enjoyed them too. that is the essence of their talent.

    two authors that i consider talented are orson scott card, and eoin colfer. anything they write is good. with them, even the genre doesnt matter, it's always good.

  13. Hi, there! I'm a fairly new reader of your blog (followed a link from a comment you left at Pioneer Woman). I'm also new to going to the gym. What the heck is it with the old ladies and the nakedness? There are LOTS of them at my gym and they walk around naked in the locker room, talking to each other, fixing their hair, weighing themselves, putting on their makeup... I'm wondering if the old men do the same thing. (Now THAT'S a picture I don't want lodged in my brain!) And of course, I'm so "backwards" that I dress and undress in the bathroom stall. I figure if *I* don't want to look at my flab, no one else does either, LOL!

    What kills me are the ones who don't necessarily come to the gym to work out, but they sit at the tables and drink the coffee and read the newspaper.


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